Special Guest Expert - Annmarie Entner: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Annmarie Entner: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Daniel Aaron:
What does it take to create a vibrant, thriving life? First, the sad news is that Thoreau was right most people are leading quiet lives of desperation, lacking in meaning, fulfillment, and vitality. But we choose more. We choose to create extraordinary lives and the art of vibrant living. Show entertains you with inspiration, empowerment and education to create your life into a masterpiece. It's time. Let's vibe up. Hey, hey. Aloha, y'all. Welcome to the show. I am Daniel Aaron, and I'm your host here for the Art of Vibrant Living show. And as you might guess by the show name, this is about you living your most vibrant, thriving life in all the ways that are significant and meaningful to you. Now, one thing to note please take in what you learn today. Please be entertained. Be inspired. That will be easy. We have an amazing guest today. You will feel inspired and take it one step further. Please take it one step further and do something with this information. You will receive gold today and if it sits on the shelf, if it stays in your mind not worth so much, put it into action. Try it out, would you? Thank you. Okay. And by the way, if you are on your road to a more vibrant, thriving life or if there's something you're moving away from or something you want to create, I would love to connect with you. Let's have a conversation, because that's my job, and my mission is to support one person at a time to live their most vibrant, thriving life. So you can reach me by email Daniel at Daniel aaron.com. And let's get on with the show today. Anne Marie Entner. What an amazing woman. Now, not only does she have the ultimate certification as a life coach, she has the ultimate certification for being a value in the world, for entrepreneurship, for healing. And that is because she had a really challenging trail with rheumatoid arthritis. And I don't know about you all, if you have encountered the world of autoimmune diseases, I have to some degree, and it's an insidious, challenging world. So Anne Marie has not only had an incredible, challenging journey with it, she's overcome it. She's a life coach. She's on a mission to help other women overcome it. And I'm so thrilled that you are here with us. Anne Marie, thank you for joining.

Annmarie Entner:
Thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here and just have an open conversation about living life today.

Daniel Aaron:
Living life today. I'm with you. Yeah. And and it's like, I don't know nearly as much as you do about autoimmune diseases, though I've certainly had a few people close to me, um, just be worn down and confused and pained and, you know, seeing that their life force and their quality of life just get little by little dialed down with that. Um, so, you know, of course I know you a little bit, and our guests may not know you at all. So would you be up for sharing a little bit of your journey, like what got you to where you are now and the work you're doing in the world?

Annmarie Entner:
Absolutely. Um, and, you know, it started before I was even diagnosed. Um, I had decided just before I was 50, um, I was going to change. I had no idea how to do it. And I had heard another life coach talk, and she spoke about, um. You can change that thought. You don't have to live in that thought. You know, you have circumstances and you know you can change that. And I kind of went along with the flow and all of that and life got healthy. You know, we all have this idea of what healthy is. I started running, um, I love to be active. I love to be outside. And I was done a few five KS and decided I was going to train for a half marathon. Um, and I had foot problems. So. And this is where it really changes. It's right before Covid. I'm all upset. You know, life is devastating. I hadn't figured out really how to deal with some of this stuff. You know, coping. You know, we all cope differently. And, uh, I ended up having foot surgery. They thought it was just like a bone spur, so you'd be fine. They took out some fascia, and, uh, I had already been experiencing a lot of pain and going through menopause. You know, you just kind of like, life happens, you know, you're like, oh, I played sports, I played softball, I was, you know, I was the tomboy. I broke all my fingers. So, you know. I'm going to this rheumatologist to just shut them all up, you know, like, I'll just do what I'm told. And, uh, they I had foot surgery and, uh, they fixed the bunion, and they took this fascia off my foot, and I got a call from the pathologist, and they said to me, oh, it's it's just I love when they say that it's just a rheumatoid nodule. And I went from, um. Holy shit. Panic. Like, right there, like. And life was my life had changed in an instant. And it wasn't even from a doctor in a doctor's office. And my next went right into, um.

Annmarie Entner:
Senior rheumatologist, and I went right to the steroids, to the biologics. I've had many different drugs along the way and Covid hit, and I was stuck to one drug to work because they took us all off of it. But the worst part of it was my mindset was not correct. I thought I was going to die. I was going to be in a wheelchair. I was not going to enjoy my daughter, her children, you know, and life was over as what I thought it was going to be. And somewhere along the line, I decided enough was enough. It was time to really address change, because that's the only thing that in life that doesn't. It just happens. We have no choice. Like change happens whether we want it or not. And, uh, I went straight on. I got so much help from my doctors. I became extremely an advocate for myself. Um, to seven medications later, I'm in remission. And remission is really for me. I have pain that's doable. I can deal with it. Um. I have run my first five K since then. Um, pain free. Um, and I always get emotional about that because. Running was my way of dealing, my first line of coping, you know, and it was taken away from me and I got it back. And that to me was a success on my part. Um, the work that I have done and during this whole process, I lost a father, a mother, a niece. And I learned how to embrace life in the moment because everything changes in a moment. And I never give up now. I never give up and I never give in. Um, and I hope that is a message that people hear, because there's no reason to give up unless you choose to not embrace change and you fight it. Um, we are worth fighting for. We are worth fighting for ourselves. And that's a big one for me. Fight for ourselves because no one else is going to do it for you. And here I am today coaching women on how to embrace the yuck of RA, the pain, the mind part, the.

Annmarie Entner:
My spouse, my husband helping him like I like. I talked to other spouses now because my husband took over for me. So we are, you know, caretakers too. We we we took them hostage and I, you know, I gave them back. Like, you can live your life now, let's let's just enjoy it. So there's a lot to be learned about having it. Um, not every um ra patient is the same, because we all have a different body and our bodies are all different, and we all respond differently, even our brains, how we process. So I am I'm on a a journey, a path, um, of purpose. To help any woman, especially middle aged, because that's usually when it hits. Um, which I found out there were a lot of a lot of reading, um, either right after you have a baby because your hormones are all out of whack or. When you go through menopause. And that's what happened. That's what was going on. Um. And I just I'm happy I'm on the other side of that part, but I'm not on the other side, except for I know that today I get to live. And enjoy life and dance my way through a lot of things, because that's kind of how I do things. I dance if I can move those feet and move my arms, even if on the floor, on a chair, I've. I've got movement. You know. And that's that's important. When you have RA, you have movement. Gotta keep moving.

Daniel Aaron:
Beautiful. Well, clearly you have overcome a lot and learned a lot. And before we go on to the other side and that piece, if you're willing, I would. I would love it if you would help us understand a little bit more. Right. In two ways. Like one for for anybody, myself included, that doesn't really know fully what rheumatoid arthritis means. And then also for you or, and maybe for others like what's, what's the the worst of it. What are the biggest challenges or um, worst symptoms to deal with.

Annmarie Entner:
So um, rheumatoid arthritis. And there's two types of seronegative and seropositive I'm positive. Which means it's, um, when I was diagnosed, I was already at stage four because that's on stage three, because I have I have damage I didn't, you know, so there's that. Um, but it attacks all of your body like I'm red. This is part of it. Like I it attacks my skin. I don't know if you can go this way. Um, this is good, but attacks your skin, your joints. It can attack your heart, your lungs. It attacks everything. But mainly it's your joints, and it's your body eating you. Um. You know, I mean, it's very it's as as clear as I can explain it. It's your body eating and attacking yourself, thinking that I'm. I'm an infection. Right. So, um, there's that. And I forgot the other question of, um. Oh, like, well, that would be it. That's a lot of pain. So in your joints for me, um. Again, I thought I had just arthritis from playing sports, but it affects the little joints in your hands. And, uh, someone once asked me what I, what it felt like to be in a flare. And I don't know if you remember when you were kids. And you shake hands and you'd squeeze that hand and rub your joints together. I don't know if you remember doing that. You know, you just kind of like rubbing them together. That's what a flare feels like continuously. Oh, it's a constant pain. And the only relief that I was able to get was I have was on copious amounts of steroids. Uh huh. Um, to take the inflammation down and in in with, um, taking my biologics. Some people do it other ways. I was very aggressive because I was like, I, you know, I am from the northeast. We do everything aggressively. It's like what I like to say. Um, but yeah, it. It to me, the pain is very great and it can overcome all our thoughts. Um, and along the process I, I now know when the pain starts, what I have to do, and I have to sit.

Annmarie Entner:
Get a grip on myself first of all. And I start a protocol I get. I call my doctor, I need steroids. What are you what? What are we going to do? And I start the process before it gets too far. Too great. The pain where I can't move. Um, and that's just me. We all have different ways of dealing it, but, um, the pain is great. I just, I, I remember doing, I had a child I was doing with the pain, the Lamaze breathing, you know, um, it it's a lot. Um, people don't really understand it. Uh, my feet were a little bit different. They were burning, um, and my knees just feel like they're cracking. Um, but everybody's a little bit different. But, um, I, I my granddaughters talk about a time that I was I couldn't walk. And I had to crawl upstairs. Mm. You know, and I was. And that was, you know, I had a failure of another drug. Um, and I think that was, uh, who knows what was. But now they talk about how I dance with them. So they also saw how the, um. You hit a bottom and you can come back. Mhm. And they let and I think that's lessons that you can teach anybody. And that's what I try to teach that, you know you can hit a bottom, you can be in a lot of pain. But if we can wrap our brain around that it's just pain. It's a, it's a, it's a reaction. And if we breathe through it. Do yoga through it, right through it. Or if you can't, right. You talk into your phone just to get the feelings out and the thoughts, and then you're capable of making your next best decision. Mhm.

Daniel Aaron:
Wow. Thank you. And the the physical, physical pain aspect of it. Uh, you know, must be just so intense and difficult and and I forget sometimes for myself. I've been into yoga for a long time. I was a fat kid, so I, I, you know, I knew something about what it's like to be really uncomfortable in the body. But as I got into adulthood, I learned how to, you know, create a good physical environment for myself. So I forget sometimes what it's like. And there are a lot of people living in constant pain, um.

Annmarie Entner:
Chronic pain in general is is painful. And now you add add a disease on top of it. Mhm. It's um. It's mind boggling. Like you've just kind of like you expect as you get older, right? You expect that? I don't. Well, I kind of expected, like when I was younger, that things were going to happen because I was a rough and tumble kid. So I just kind of expected I didn't expect this. You never prepared for this? Um. And I think that's the, the, the, the joy that I find when I'm coaching is I get to help them prepare, because there's going to be a grief that you're going to have and they're like, oh, I need to grieve the old me. I'm like, no, you gotta agree with the you that you thought you were going to be. Oh. Right. We, you know, because you have this, oh, I'm going to be old and gray with my wife or my partner or whomever, whatever that was going to be. And you don't have that. I grieved what I thought I was going to have as an older woman. The past is the past. That's always the. Past. But our future that changed the day. We. The day we were diagnosed. Mhm. And we don't think about that. Everybody wants to grieve about, well, you know, look what I did. Look what I was. You're always what you were. But what are you going to be in the future? And that's the, um, you know, I went like I went to a conference this weekend and we talked about our our goal life. What do you want our goal life to look like? And that can change a million times. Mm. So, um, yeah, I, I agree, I still grieve occasionally that. What. You know what I thought I would be doing. Yeah. You know, I'm. Not going to be doing so great hiking. So I mean I would love to go hiking, but I know I can only do so much. So I do little hikes, you know, you you, um, what's the word I'm looking for. You modify. Mhm.

Daniel Aaron:
So let me backtrack because I want to double check. I think one of the, one of the first things I heard you say if I got it right is that. Before you got the symptoms from the RA and before you got the diagnosis, you had made a decision in yourself that you wanted to change. Did I hear that right?

Annmarie Entner:
I did. I did, I, uh, I was done being heavy. I done, you know, living in the past, I had had a lot of trauma, which I think also plays a part into, um. Into my life, um, of getting diagnosed and having your body attack yourself. And that's just, you know, a lot of people have different views on it, but that's what I think. I had quite a bit of trauma growing up. Uh, more when I was older as an adult. And, uh. I had let that get me. Mm. And, um, I did say prior to this that, um. Ari taught me how to cope. So it took me all the way back to deal with my trauma and and move forward. It's a gift. It was a gift that I don't know for. Who believes in God or not believes in God. It was or your higher power. I do believe that this was given to me for a purpose and, um, it was a gift. Nobody looks at getting a disease as a gift, but for me it was. It taught me to to live.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. Well, so let's go deeper into that because I asked you before. Okay. What was the you know, what was the difficulty? The worst part of it. And I've heard you say a couple times in different ways now that that you learn to live. And so what does that mean? Will you say more about what the gift was? And so the gift.

Annmarie Entner:
So living living for me was existing. Hmm. I just kind of existed. I figured that my lot in life, you know, like, nothing was going to go great. Um, you know, I was a single mother. My parents helped me out, you know? Um, it was difficult. Um, we didn't have a great relationship. Um, but, uh, I learned to embrace a lot of that. That the. Yuck, as I like to call it. Um. And it just changed. When I got the RA, it just changed like nothing like the past didn't matter anymore. Mhm. It didn't matter. It was you know, I had so much more to live for and I had to figure out what that was. So living was not existing. It wasn't dredging up the past anymore. It wasn't placing blame on anybody anymore. I quit placing blame on myself. You know, I think more importantly, um. And I had to learn to forgive me first. Mhm. And move forward from that. And that was hard a lot of therapy and, and a coach I had my own coach. My own coach you know you know she's like you gotta race that thought how are we going to change that. And I was like, I have no clue. And for a while they had to come up with, um, their own thoughts for me to adopt. Mhm. You know, they were they were my example. Um, and in the process I found out that I was a people pleaser. Um, I was hypervigilant and these were all um. Uh, like survival skills for me. And, you know, as an adult, they're not good for you. Right. And, um, I no longer do that. And that was something that took I took years to do. Figure out. I mean, it didn't just happen overnight, but, um, and I still have them in my head, like, oh, my daughter's supposed to come first, or, you know, I got to do this first, and I gotta know if I don't take care of this first. Me. I'm really no good for anybody. Mm. And, uh. That's living for me. Putting me first. And it took practice. And making lots of mistakes along the way.

Daniel Aaron:
Can you can you give us an example of that?

Annmarie Entner:
An example was I. I would choose to help everyone else, knowing that I had work to do at. Home. To get my business. And this was recent, uh, starting a business. Right. Um, and I chose to help everybody else because they were always much more important. And then when I would turn around, someone would say, well, how are you doing in your business? And I would have a litany of like, well, I didn't get this done and I didn't get this done. And they're like, do you know why you didn't get that done? I'm like, yeah, because, you know, they had to get their stuff done first. I had help and they're like, no, you chose them instead of you. Mhm. And that took time. And that was my coach, my coach that I have now. She, uh, brought it very much to light, and she pinpointed it each time. So, um, there was, um, even now with my mother in law, I'm here, I am at my house. I'm trying to balance, um. And I'm doing it. I'm putting me first. I take a break and then I do. Um. It's not easy when you put yourself first. Especially when you're used to putting everybody else first. Um, and then there's the hyper vigilant. When I was taking care of my mother. Um. She was so important that I couldn't focus around anybody else. And I. I went into a really bad flare. Hmm. And again, my coach had like, you know, dot dot dot. You know why you're in a flare? I'd be like, no, why am I in a flare? And she's like, uh, let's break this down. It's like, oh, I'm taking care of my mother. I'm not taking care of me. I've missed my medications, you know, like it's. You get. I would get so tied up in everybody else that I would forget about me. Yeah. And that and that was not living. When you're taking care of everybody else. You have no room for yourself.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, well, I'm with you. It's, um, interesting timing for me. There's a client I've been working with that's really discovering how challenging it is for her to set boundaries. Um, and that's part of what I hear you speaking of, too. So you said. You said this. I'd love to go deeper if you're willing. You said that you were people pleasing. You were, you know, helping everybody with their stuff and then ignoring what you wanted to do or you felt like you wanted to accomplish. Um. Mhm. Why why were you doing that? What was causing that behavior?

Annmarie Entner:
Um, I didn't believe in myself. Uh. I didn't believe that I deserved it. You know what? To be successful. And of my definition, you know I believe I'm successful today. Am I making $1 million? That doesn't define success for me? Mhm. For me, success is, um. Being able to put me first and I can get things done at my pace and. I'm a better mom. I'm a better grandmother. I'm a better wife. Um. I'm a better daughter in law. Uh, so, you know, friends, I mean, it all comes into play, but a coach, you know, because if I'm not putting myself first and I'm telling them that they need to do that, you know, I have to lead by example. Um, it's. It's a lot to do that and to to actually follow through. And when you don't follow through not to beat yourself up over it. Mhm. And that is just the human nature we like to find. Oh look at that. But um, you know I never understood it when I was younger that you know, life is a series of mistakes. Especially if you learn from those mistakes, then you get to live. And, um, it took me. I was in my 50s learning that I had no clue. You know, it's never too late to grow up. That's the other one. I keep telling everybody it's never too late. And growing up doesn't mean you have to stop playing. Nice.

Daniel Aaron:
Well so let's let's again let's take this a bit further, because I imagine that some people in our, in our audience, live or by rebroadcast are, are going to hear what you're saying about how you had this challenge and confrontation with people pleasing and doing them. And and now you can see that there was a level that you weren't believing in yourself and thinking you deserved your own, the success that you wanted. According to your definition, though in practical terms, I imagine that because you've been living this way for a while, that people were used to asking you and you would take care of their problems for them. So how what? You know, just on the brass tacks level, how did.

Annmarie Entner:
You what did you do? I lost friends. Oh, I lost. Friends. I've lost people that were in my life. Um, people don't like when you're honest. Um. You know, um. And that's okay. I had to be okay with that. I wasn't in the beginning. I gotta tell you, I did a lot of crying. Um, but I am okay with it today. Um, I think the people that have left me will be back. Um, they're just not ready in their part of their life. I will never keep them shut out. Um, especially the loved ones, um, that I love them. Some of the people that I love the most. Didn't like my change.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, so what did that? What did that look like? I'm. Before you answer, I'll tell you. There's one of my favorite lines I heard from Joe Dispenza years ago. He said he was talking to a group of people about, you know, being in the process of changing. And he said, so here's what you do. You change your greeting on your phone. So when people call your greeting then says, hey, thanks for calling. I'm in the process of making some changes in my life. If I don't call you back, you're one of those changes.

Annmarie Entner:
Yes, I've heard of that.

Daniel Aaron:
So what? What what did it look like for you? Like what caused somebody to say, I don't want to be your friend. Maybe they didn't say it, but they really.

Annmarie Entner:
Didn't say it. We just kind of, um. Which is distance ourselves. It was never really it was never a conflict, except for one which I still struggle with because it's there, a very important part of my life. But again, we all have a part of our life that. If you don't want to see the truth or you don't want to feel your truth, or my truth is not your truth, I'm okay with that. But I've never gone. And I think if anything, I hope I'm an example. That change is possible and I can still love you even though you're not in my life. Mm. That's what it's to me. That's what changed for me with some of the people that are not in my life. Some of the people I'm okay that they're gone. Like I was like, oh, God, they're just dragging me down. And I didn't know it until they were gone. Right. Like that was a few. I mean, that was kind of a realization. Um. And I thought I was going to be so upset and I wasn't at all. I wasn't like I was like, wow. Like, I could see I'm okay with them not being here, involved in my life. And that was okay. Yep. And people you know they and again I didn't understand this when I was growing up either. You know people are in your life for, you know, a day, a week, a season, a year, whatever. Um, and they have a purpose in your life at those times, and they teach you a lesson. Um, I never understood it until I became a coach. Mhm. Until I started making my changes. Um. It is so true. So true that people are always put in your way for a purpose, whether it's to help you, teach you a lesson, or just to be there. And, uh, that's that was a hard nut for me. I never understood it. And now I get it. So I know each person that has been in my life has had a purpose in my life. Um. And I don't hate them for it at all. I. I love them because they were. They helped me at some point to grow. Beautiful.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, and so I'm curious then you said something a moment ago about you didn't always know that you know, about the timing of people in our lives and and that you learned that in, in coaching or through coaching. What what's been, um. I know that, um, I've been working as a coach for a long time. A lot of our listeners have. I might be a fish in a fish bowl. And then there are people in our audience that don't know anything about coaching. What? What do you mean when you say coaching taught you that? What what what's been the value for you?

Annmarie Entner:
So for me, being coached, I should say being coached was, um, huge. Um, because I had done years and years and years of therapy. Um. And I knew where I came from, I understood it, it was fine. I just never knew how to move forward. Oh, that was. And that wasn't taught. So with coaching, it taught me, um. Uh, how to take that next step? Mm. As difficult and uncomfortable as it was, um. And I grew to, like, uncomfortability. A lot of people don't like that, I do. I do know that when I'm uncomfortable, it means I am in a I am in a growth spurt. Mhm. And, uh, I didn't know that either. So each step that I've taken along the way as when you lose someone and you're uncomfortable because you're sad. The flip side of that was I was growing. Mhm. Um, and even in my marriage my husband kept saying you're growing too fast for me, I can't keep up. And I remember saying to him one time, um. Well, you either keep up or I'm leaving you behind. And I was so focused about moving forward and then finally had this thought of like, oh my God, that was like really harsh, like, but, um, mind you, he's caught up. We're still together. But he grew at his pace and I had to, um. I had a I had to allow that to happen. I would allow him to catch up to me. Um, and not that it was an intellectual or anything like that. He had to catch up to me to see my change, my growth. You know, he has seen me, um, at my absolute bottom. And again, I love my husband and he has seen me at my absolute top and everything in between. And, um. I always thought my daughter taught me what unconditional love was. She introduced it. My husband is absolutely unconditional.

Daniel Aaron:
Oh that's.

Annmarie Entner:
Beautiful. So yeah. And my and I, I never knew what it was until I had a child. And now I know what it is to actually live it. And have it exposed to you. So. Yeah. Um. I would say. A lot of things. Coaching changed a lot. It made me very aware, you know, um, just to be aware of my body, my thoughts, my actions, the result I got from those actions, you know, um, and realizing that what caused it was all a circumstance that I had a thought about a stupid circumstance. Um. You know, I'm still thinking about what happened to me. Uh, you know, when I was in high school. And I'm like, but that happened in the past and I'm it was just a circumstance. But I like and you know like and then I'm just using that as an example. But I like something like that, like drive me for a years and emotionally drive me. And until I was able to realize that was just a circumstance. Something happened in my life. It was in the past, and I had a same thought for 30 years.

Daniel Aaron:
Right. And that's that's what I wanted to double check, because I'm guessing that part of what you mean is that there was a circumstance, but the circumstance didn't do anything unto itself. It was your thinking about it. Is that right?

Annmarie Entner:
Right. Yes, absolutely. The circumstance. And that's the that's the best part I think about coaching. Mm. Everything has a you know, our thoughts come from just something that happened to us. It's a circumstance. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Yeah. And uh, and we make it feel real like it's the truth and. You know my circumstances. I have rheumatoid arthritis. I can have lots of thoughts about it. Yeah. I can have lots of I can have thoughts that are going to propel me. And I can have thoughts that are going to keep me stuck. I had the stuck ones. Yeah. And I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. I didn't like the fact that I was sitting on a couch watching everybody else live. Mm. And enjoy a party. And I just sat there and wallowed in like, oh God, I can't participate. Where now I find me in pain. I'm sitting on a couch. I can't participate from that seat. Um, you know, so it's. And it was all just like a little thought, the little tiny thought of. All right, so I have. All right. Big deal. Doesn't stop me from living. Only if I let it.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. Beautiful. Well. Uh anmarie. Now, I would be grossly negligent if I did not return to something you said a few moments ago, which is, I know so many people in the worlds of transformation, growth, personal development, spiritual development who struggle with something like, oh, my partner is not into this stuff. My partner is not growing like I am. We're on different paths, that kind of thing. So I want to go back and zoom in a little bit.

Annmarie Entner:
Absolutely.

Daniel Aaron:
When your husband said, right, you're growing too fast, will you take us into that? What was going on for him and what did he mean?

Annmarie Entner:
Um, I was kind of just excluding him. Um, I. Was excluding him because there was so much excitement in the growth. Like, I remember like, it was kind of almost like a that first growth spurt that I had. Like when you watch a child walk and everybody's so excited I was there. I was in those first baby steps of just growing. But they weren't just baby steps. They were like ten baby steps really quick. And I was so excited. And I would take ten more baby steps and I'd be so excited. And then before I know it, I was. I was far away, but I was so far away that I was just, I was disconnected. Not. He wasn't. Um. And I had to realize that I wouldn't be those ten steps, those 20 steps, those 30 steps ahead if I hadn't had his support. Oh.

Daniel Aaron:
So what did that what did that look like? I mean, it's.

Annmarie Entner:
He he was. He was he was angry. I'm going to tell you right now. He was angry. He was like, I can't he's probably listening to this now thinking, oh wow, she's telling that story. Yeah. But you know, well, um, and we don't hide anything either. So that's kind of, you know, um.

Daniel Aaron:
But what was he angry about? Like what? What did that look like to him? You were. You were going fast, I think.

Annmarie Entner:
I think. It was. I wasn't considering him where he always considered me. Um, and always my support. Where, um. I was just learning how to cope. And I didn't know how to do, cope and grow and love all together. Okay. Um. And that's again, it's a skill. I believe that's a skill when you're growing. And I wasn't pulling him in to let him know what was going on. I was just going and going and I there was the communication broke down. And if you're married or you have a significant other, communications euge, that was my part. And I was looking at it like I'm going without you. Mhm. But he wanted to be along. He just didn't know how to, he didn't know how to catch up. And I remember the one conversation we had, it was sort of I kind of went like you know, how can I catch up to you. How can we be together on this journey. And I didn't know I had to, like, really sit down and figure it out. And it was came right back down to communication, communication, communication. And just telling him where I was at and hearing where he was at and where we could meet each other. In that part. Um. And I'll go back to because we did that when I was diagnosed. Um. He was so much further ahead of me when I found out. He he knew the next steps to take. Um, I went into, um. I don't know what to do with my life. Oh my God. Like, I'm going to be here. And he took the reins for me. He made he was the one that was at every doctor appointment with me. He was the one that listened to the doctor. He was the one that had the questions because I would be like, oh my God, I want to ask this question. And he would have them, um. He was my eyes, my ears, my heart, my everything in that moment. And I'd already been on this journey of moving forward. Right? And here I was back here and he was forward. And because we learned where to meet each other in the middle, we were able to figure it out together. And not leave each other behind.

Daniel Aaron:
Wow. Well, it sounds like you, you you both had the the impulse, the drive, the presence to even if you'd kind of gotten off track to get it back together that you pulled each other in.

Annmarie Entner:
Yes. And, you know, um, they say like marriage is 50 over 50. Yes. Does not equal 50 over 50. Because you know what, when I was going through that, I'm going to tell you he had 90%, um, he was doing it. Um, he recently lost his job. I think I was like, you know, 75% taken over. You know, just the emotional part in the marriage, you know, we. There's that. Give and take. Um. To have someone that's supportive is that's a blessing to that was a gift that I realized when I got RA that, well, I gotta I gotta remember that and I gotta be appreciative and say thank you. And, you know, acknowledge more often. Mm. Not that he needs it, but it's nice to hear.

Daniel Aaron:
Absolutely. Yeah. It's, um, it's one of the best things any, um, any woman can give to her man or any feminine can give to the masculine is a simple thank you appreciation. Right? Like, it costs nothing, yet it fills us up in powerful ways.

Annmarie Entner:
Priceless.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, yeah.

Annmarie Entner:
It's priceless. So yeah, it's it's been a this has been a it actually again the gift of RA. It made our marriage stronger I keep I keep going back to that. It just, you know, um. It. No ones. When you first get diagnosed, you don't look at it that way. But I mean, I did do a lot of work to get here. Mhm.

Daniel Aaron:
Well let me ask you one more question on this because you know, I see in you that you got this, you got this thing that you didn't want, you know, nobody would ask for that. Um, and yet you have managed to extract gold from it. You've gotten a lot of benefits. Right. Some people get a diagnosis like that, have those symptoms, and their life just goes downhill from there. What makes the difference?

Annmarie Entner:
I think having a coach just changed everything for me. I really do, um. Because I would have lots of thoughts and I couldn't, um, I couldn't figure out which one was the most important to work on. Um. And I. I remember them. I remember my coach asking me like, right, five things. That is really hard for you. And as you really can never really write five because your brain is always stuck on the same two. Mine was, oh, you know, what am I going to do the rest of my life? Like, what am I going to do? And my job, because I was getting certified to be a life coach when this all happened, and I couldn't even coach myself because it was so great. So that was a big one. Like, what am I doing with my life and will I ever enjoy my grandchildren? Mm. Because, you know, they were really young at that time. And, um. I want that that, you know, that's that's my joy is to see, you know, their beautiful faces and and. The innocence of like pure love. Mhm. And the questions and you know you get to I want it to be the fun grandma. So I'm the fun grandma. And I didn't know how to do that in pain. Yeah. So, um, I had two and we worked through that. We had to work through those two questions because I was like, I can't think past that. You know, eventually you, you, you work on those and other ones come up. I mean, then it's like, well, how do I, how do I, how am I intimate with my husband? And then that came up. That was like a huge one, you know, like, now what do I do? Um, because, you know, life started getting easier and I was afraid, like, oh my God, am I going to break myself doing this? I started thinking like, not him. Am I going to break myself, you know? And, um, yeah, you work through it. I mean, it's everything. It's it affects all of you. Um. And I think all autoimmune diseases affect all of you. Sure. It's just, you know. I don't coach on all autoimmune because I really just no ra I can I can help you with your mindset, but I know the RA stuff and, um. I could I that's my purpose. I really believe God put that in my path. To do that. Yep. You know. Wow.

Daniel Aaron:
So I will highlight and amplify what you said though, because, uh, well, one, it's exactly fits with my own experience and I think it's so useful for people to hear it. When I asked you, like, you know, how did what makes the difference between, you know, a, a challenging life occurrence, a diagnosis, the pain and going downhill or going uphill from there? Your response was coaching. And, you know, and of course, I, I claim my bias because I, I am a coach and I've employed coaches and mentors in my life for going on 30 years now, and I can't imagine what it would be like not to do that. I did a, um, I met with someone recently and I was just giving them some help in their life, and they're they've never had coaching before. And so it was it was so new to them. And it was it was a great eye opener for me. Like, wow, you know what what it's like not not to have somebody with you caring for you that can give perspective. Um, it's just it's hard for me to imagine now. The value is so tremendous with it. That's beautiful.

Annmarie Entner:
Yeah. It's, um. And even if they don't want to work with me, I'm like, I'll find you someone. Yeah. You know, like, I am that passionate about it. Um. And I have. It for like a lot of things in my life. You know, it started off as weight loss. I mean, that's how it started. And then it was like it just changed. It changed into how to live. Mhm. You know. And um. The horrible thoughts that I had. I mean, they were horrible. And I, you know, I don't go into the all the other stuff of where, you know, I, you know, I very much contemplated about, you know, I'm done living, I'm done living. I need I, you know, hence why I went to therapy, you know, like and then to be able to come back to it with a coach and, and talk about what was going on in my head at that time. Um, that was kind of. An eye opener because again, it came down to not being able to cope. I mean, and I think that's kind of where we go is we help them how to cope a little bit in a different way. You know there's no exact rules on how to cope. We find how we cope as ourselves. How do we soothe ourselves and not beat ourselves up? Mm. Yeah. And I because you know and I think everybody beats themselves up I mean we, I still do it. I just catch it quicker now. Nice. You know it's and I just think it's part, it's human nature. You know we want to blame because it's easier. It's like no, no, that was my fault. Shoot. You know and then in Mid-thought I'm like, oh, I hate when I'm doing this. Oh it's me. And then I got to coach myself on it, like, all right, why, why are you why are you wanting to blame them? Why are you not looking at yourself?

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. Well. Okay. Cool. Thank you for sharing that piece. I think that's really valuable for people. And, um, as time is ticking along for us here, Emery. Um, um, uh, is there anything that I haven't asked you or you you haven't had a chance to speak about that you would like to.

Annmarie Entner:
I just think, um. I think women in middle age, we forget. You know, our children grow up, our parents get older, and we don't we don't really take time before we get to middle age to figure it out. I really hope these 30 somethings, 20 somethings, you know, find a coach young. And, um. Learn to prioritize themselves because we we we don't. And that's kind of a woman thing, I believe my husband says, no, I don't know. But, you know, um, if we don't prioritize ourselves, we are pretty. We're pretty lost when our kids grow up and everybody leaves the house. And, you know, my parents are gone now and my daughter is married with kids. And, you know, thank God I found coaching to figure out how to put me first. Uh, some some people don't do that. So I it's important for me that they figure this out. And you know you don't need a problem for coaching. That's the other thing. You know, you don't have to have a problem to do this. You know, you could just be uncomfortable and not happy with something and figure out where to go next.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, and it's actually possible to just say, hey, life is good and it could be good, or let's make it gooder. Yeah, right. I remember three years ago when I was living in Bali, there's a man moved there and he started doing, um, oxygen therapies, ozone therapy. And I was so excited because I knew about the health benefits of it. And I had never been in a place where I could receive that. And so I called him up and I asked him, you know, what do you do? And how's the services and what's the cost and all that? And he answered all my questions and he said, so you know what's wrong. I was like, what do you mean? He's like, well, you know, what's the problem? I was like, oh, no problem. I just, you know, I want to feel even better. And there was silence, right? And he said, nobody's ever said that, right. So I'm with you. There doesn't have to be a problem if for us to see that life can be even more.

Annmarie Entner:
Beautiful, right? And that could be your definition of being healthy. I'm staying in within my perimeters to stay healthy. Yeah. You know, that's the other thing. Um, yeah, I, I believe we don't need to have a problem to have someone help us with our thoughts.

Daniel Aaron:
I love it, I love it. Yeah.

Annmarie Entner:
I mean, as. Simple, like you said, simple. I just want to maintain.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. That's great. So, Anne Marie what? I'm sure there are going to be viewers, whether they are, um, working with RA or autoimmune or just otherwise are inspired by you, who would love to get in contact, what's the best way for them to reach you?

Annmarie Entner:
So I have a website and it's, uh, it's because life is all about changing, right? So my lives, my website is life coaching for change. Um, uh, I you can come on there. You can contact me. I will reach out to you. Facebook also. Um, I have two pages. Uh, one is my profile page, which is just Anne Marie. Anna. Um, I'm on there most days, just checking out to see what other people are doing, because, you know, I'm nosy like everybody else. Um, and then I do. I'm on Instagram and I do, uh, I'm, I'm RA dot or RA underscore advocate. Um ra advocate. Um, just and that that's a lot of fun stuff. You see me living there, uh, out with my grandchildren. And, uh, I did a bucket list recently. I went horseback riding. You'll see me on a horse. Oh. That's beautiful. You know, never thought I'd do that again. So, you know, uh. It's possible.

Daniel Aaron:
Great.

Annmarie Entner:
Okay. You get. To see. You get to see living. Um, you'll also see in the early stages of where I was crying, but. Okay, so the whole.

Daniel Aaron:
Journey.

Annmarie Entner:
The whole journey is there, um, even from, like, where I was heavy to losing weight. It's all there.

Daniel Aaron:
Wow. Beautiful. Well, thank you for sharing all that. And for people that are listening and not seeing, because I did flash the website up there. That's life coaching for change.com and all those words, life coaching for change are spelled just like you would think. Um, so perfect. All right, well, I think, Anne Marie, that brings us to the point of me asking you the big question, the impossible question. And I say it's impossible because you've got so much experience now, so much wisdom. Um, you've overcome so much yourself. And now I am asking you to distill that, to boil it down. So if you were to say just one thing, give one piece of information, one suggestion that would help people to live their most vibrant, thriving life. What is the one thing you would say?

Annmarie Entner:
Open the door. Step into it.

Daniel Aaron:
Open the door. Step into it, I love that. What will you say a tiny bit more? What does that mean? Open what door?

Annmarie Entner:
Open a door! Doesn't matter. Open the door to your heart. Open the door to outside. Open the door to your mind. Be vulnerable. Open the door and step. Lean in. Just take a step. And it could be any step. It could be a baby step or a huge step. And if your step is asking for help. You've opened another door.

Daniel Aaron:
Nice.

Annmarie Entner:
Open a door. That's kind of how I. That's what I did. I opened the door. Um, and then I know everybody says, you know, you you know, one door closes, another door opens. But I think we can open more doors than closed doors. So. Yeah.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, I love that, you know. And part of what I hear you saying is go for it. Take a step. Create your life. It's it's possible. You deserve it. Absolutely. Wrapped up in. Right.

Annmarie Entner:
And you get. To embrace it. You like it or don't like it, you get to decide. You still get to decide. You know, um, that's I think that was one of the things that I learned in the beginning is I get to decide. Beautiful. And there's no rules. Nice.

Daniel Aaron:
Alright. Well, Anne Marie, thank you so much. Not just for not just for taking the time, which I appreciate, but also for your courage and your heart. And, you know, the, the, the way you've taken those lemons and made beautiful lemonade and your passion for helping others with this. So thank you so much for that and for being with us today. Uh, thank.

Annmarie Entner:
You for having me. This was a pleasure and absolute pleasure. Um, and I hope I if I reach one person. It's all been worth it.

Daniel Aaron:
That's it. That's that's the game.

Annmarie Entner:
One person. It's just one person. And that one person is, you know, you're worth it. Don't give in and don't give up.

Daniel Aaron:
Beautiful. All right. And y'all in our audience, thank you. Because you are the heroes of this story. I love that you were here. I love that you are interested in a more vibrant, thriving life. It would be super awesome if more than interested, you'd do something with it. You take a step, you take some of the wisdom that Anne-Marie brought today and you say, I'm gonna try that out. I'm gonna put that into place in my life. I'm going to do an experiment. I'm going to go through the door, and I love you. I so love that you are here with us. I'm incredibly grateful. Thank you so much for being with us. Come back soon. We got more vibrancy on the way. Thanks, y'all. Mahalo for tuning in to the Art of Vibrant Living show y'all! I'm Daniel Aaron and may you live with great vibrancy.

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