Special Guest Expert - James Kawainiui: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - James Kawainiui: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Daniel Aaron:
What does it take to create a vibrant, thriving life? First, the sad news is that Thoreau was right most people are leading quiet lives of desperation, lacking in meaning, fulfillment, and vitality. But we choose more. We choose to create extraordinary lives and the art of vibrant living. Show entertains you with inspiration, empowerment and education to create your life into a masterpiece. It's time. Let's vibe up. Aloha, y'all. Daniel Aaron here I am, your host. This is the Art of Vibrant Living show. And oh, what a show it is. I'm so excited y'all. And a moment though to clarify, just in case it would be useful to you, this show is all about. Yes, entertaining. Inspiring. Most importantly though, it's about empowering you to actually increase the vibrancy in your life, to turn it up, to have your best ever life, right? So request suggestion for you with that is don't just be entertained and inspired, do something about it. Our guest today is phenomenal. James is going to give you serve up for you some gold nuggets that if you just leave them, they won't do you as much good. So take it on, try it out. Find something. Go. Yeah I'm going to apply that in my life today. And if you would love to have a conversation with me, if you would like some support, or perhaps to just explore how to create more effectively in your life to transform, then reach out to me. Daniel at Daniel aaron.com. I'd love to connect with you. So moving onward though I am delighted, delighted, delighted on multiple levels for our guests today. James is a Native Hawaiian healer, mentor and spiritual counselor and an expert in clearing emotional and physical blockages caused by trauma, injury, or illness. James helps people embrace hope and feel better about themselves so they can find joy and happiness, and live with clarity and purpose. He carries the lineage of over 20 generations of Hawaiian healers and mystics. He's also a collaborating author to eight Amazon best selling books, and is a sought after speaker on the authentic practice of ho'oponopono and living a life of aloha. There is so much that is amazing about James, and I'm delighted that you are with us. James, thank you for being here.

James Kawainiui:
Thank you, thank you Daniel, listen. Aloha. Aloha everybody, and and welcome today. I'm excited to be here with you.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, you know, and I and I love right away the the ironies of our connection here. Right. You're 2020 generations of Hawaiian healer not currently on a Hawaiian island. Here I am, happily guy on a Hawaiian island. Right. Um, although, technically, if we if we get to the definition of Howley. Right. And you can correct me on this if need be, one who does not breathe. And I believe that from my many years of training as a breath worker, I've made a little bit of progress in that area. So hopefully I'm a little more alive than the average. Howley in any case, I.

James Kawainiui:
Don't think that I don't think that that, um, name actually is, is for you. That's not that's not a label that you need. Let's just put it that way.

Daniel Aaron:
Thank you. Well, let's um James, I have the great advantage of knowing a bit about you. We've been able to connect before, and that was an honor for me. Your history with your lineage and how you came to the work that you're doing is is an awesome, amazing sequence of events and a bit of a story. Would you give our audience a little, uh, connection to that, how you got to this point and what you're doing? I would.

James Kawainiui:
Love to. And I'm and I promise I'm going to keep it as concise as possible because we got way too much to talk about today. Um, I grew up on a big island in, in Kona on a coffee farm, and realized really young that I didn't think I was going to stay there. I needed the basis for that. And so when I was really young, I moved away. I joined the military. Long story short, I was gone for 25 years. Right before that happened, there were things that were happening to me about 2 or 3 years before that, and people started showing up in my office. I was a, um, executive in the multi-million dollar a year company, and, and we were a fortune 500 company at the time. And people would show up and they would tell me about the pain that was going on in their bodies. And without even knowing what was happening, I would stand and I would kind of run my hand over their bodies and I would find I go, oh, you mean here? And I would point someplace on their on their body and they say, yeah, right there. And I would do something and their pain would go away. And I was like, and they would look at me like, man, that was amazing. And they would walk out of my office and I'd be scratching my head. And that happened for a while. And then, then this other weird thing happened as people started coming into my office, closing the door, and they started telling me about their lives. Pardon me, that's sitting there listening to him going, ooh, I don't know if I want to do all of this. And I don't think that I need to to want to be there with them. And yet at the same time, they were finding relief and and I was again shocked at what was going on. So fast forward a little bit. I took another position in my company and I was in another division, answered to the president of my of our division. I had three departments, so I was very much the left head, the, you know, the left brained person. I work with documents and process controls.

James Kawainiui:
So this is like as far away from what I do now as possible. And one Friday evening I had a situation that completely changed my life. And I came home from work and I was sitting on my couch and I was miserable because I took the job I thought was going to give give me happiness, you know? And yet I was working 70 hours a week. You know, I had disgruntled employees. I had clients and customers yelling at me in the phone all day. And I was really dejected and sitting at home and, and all of a sudden I had this hand and it went like this, and it bashed me upside the head. And there was a voice that said, it's time to go home. And I kind of looked around and went, what the f was that? And I looked at my wife at the time and I said, did you hear that? And she said, hear what? And I heard a voice, so it's time to go home. And she kind of looked at me and she said, you know, you've been acting really weird lately. And, and I got up and I walked in my into the kitchen, you know, this is like I had a cell phone at the time, but I used my landline landline, you know, showing my age and called my sister in Hawaii. And I said, who's living at the beach house? And she said, no one. And I said, I think I'm coming home. And she and she, she, you know, she I heard her laugh and she said, it's about time. About damn time is what she said. Those were her exact words. And I walked into my boss's office the very next day and I quit my job. Um, I looked at him and said, Dave, I can't do this. I'm I'm going to quit. I'm going to move back to Hawaii. And and he did something that I never thought I would see. He started crying and he said, I really wish I could do what you did. And and I stayed for two more months. I found out later on they they never found anybody to replace me because nobody wanted my job because it was such a sucky job.

James Kawainiui:
Um, I sold everything I had. I moved back to Hawaii, and for the next four years, I literally went from this life of flying in corporate jets, expensive dinners with clients, you know, sitting around smoking cigars and drinking with the boys and everything else like that, to living in a shack on the beach with no electricity and no running water. And I realized now that I needed that space because what I was doing was dumping this life. And at the same time, what was happening was this there was this energy that was coming in. And I realized that that voice that I heard was the first time I'd actually heard my kupuna, Hawaiians calling me your kupuna, your ancestors. And they were talking to me. And that was 25 years ago, that that happened. And so this, this gradual understanding of what I was supposed to do and the course of finding out my lineage inside of all of that. And, and is just the journey that I've been on. And so when I look at people now, I says, you don't have to blow up your life, because that's what I did. Basically, I blew up my life. But but you know what? Personal transformation did not exist back then because that wasn't a that wasn't the buzzword that it is now. There was nothing about, you know, there was mindfulness and people were doing that. But I wasn't part of that world, and I didn't have the tools to be able to do change any other way except to just kind of like blow it up, let it all go. So I don't recommend that to anybody. That that wasn't a very good and it wasn't a very comfortable journey.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, thank you. And I mean, what an amazing thing. And I'm with you. I don't want to linger too much on this part because I got 40 questions we could talk about from all that you said. And we've got other fish to admire in this conversation. Um, and still, though, that moment when your boss started crying and said, I wish I could do that. What? What is that? What what goes on with that?

James Kawainiui:
I think people wish in their lives that they can be free. And we I think for me anyway, getting lost inside the. And I've never said it this way. So thank you Daniel. The illusion of what we think we should have and what we should be. And in that moment, it almost felt like everything shattered. And he was looking at and we were he and I were at opposite ends of the spectrum because my daughter was just graduating high school. His oldest child was a son that was five and a half years old, so he was just starting his parenting journey. Mine was ending. And and so we were on opposite ends of that. And, and I think he, you know, everybody dreams about just, you know, telling your boss to f off and walk away, you know, but not what the, the, the ramifications, you know, down line is when we start doing stuff like that.

Daniel Aaron:
Absolutely. And part of why I ask is, is because I've had so many times where people said to me, oh, I wish I could do that, you know, whatever it was. Not nothing fancy just living in a different culture, say, or living on an island somewhere. I seem to have lived on islands all my life. Um, and my my head scratching thought is always like what? You could write, and there's nothing special about me. I just decided to do that, that's all. Um. And maybe.

James Kawainiui:
Stopping you.

Daniel Aaron:
What's stopping you?

James Kawainiui:
Yeah.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. Well, and and and like. Like you. I think part of what helped facilitate that for me, well, maybe it was like an, uh, a blissful ignorance of. I didn't even think about what the consequences would be. Right. And then I got into the consequences. I said, oh, maybe I should have done it in a gentler way. But here, now.

James Kawainiui:
And you're right, because it's only in hindsight that I was going to back go, you know, that I could go back. And it was years later and I could look at that and go, wow, you know, you didn't really do yourself any favors, did you, James? You made it as hard as you could because it was the only way that I knew. And there was not a place inside of understanding, you know, how to let go, how to self-reflect, how to take responsibility for what you know, what was going on in my life and and the pieces that I had put into place to create where I was at in the moment, you know, um.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, and the other, you know, another part that I hear in, in your experience of that story that I can relate to, too, and I've blown up my life a few times. So it's I think it's also and see if this resonates for you. It's also that's what spirit directed, right? Spirit said to you, hey, time to go home, bro. Right. And and you listened, right. And and a lot of us, I think. And maybe your boss in that moment was like, he's getting the message, but he's like, no, no, no, that's going to be too hard. That's not comfortable.

James Kawainiui:
Yeah. And you're right. Because, you know, I called those those points and everybody's had them in their lives. I call them lines in the sand where you get to this point and you know, there's a choice that once you make that choice, there's no going back. And most people, most people will tow that line all their life. Very few people step over it. Um, you know, because because how do you live not knowing who you are when you make those kinds of choices? And that for most people, is too scary. And that's why we stay uncomfortable and unhappy and miserable in our lives.

Daniel Aaron:
Any downside to it?

James Kawainiui:
Any downside of what? To what I did.

Daniel Aaron:
No, no. I'm kidding. Any downside to living, you know, miserable and comfortable and, you know, safe. I'm joking.

James Kawainiui:
I know you are.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. So. So let's let's go this direction. James, I'm really interested in the the intersection we have here of, um, a lot of my approach in the language I use to empower clients and students and show audiences how to create your vibrant life. Right. And one of the obviously big lenses through which you see the world and work and support people is through the lens of Hawaiian wisdom and tradition. And your lineage is do you see some intersection there? What would you say about that? Especially for, you know, I'm sure there are people in our audience that that don't know anything about Hawaii other than it looks good on postcards.

James Kawainiui:
You know, irrespective of all of that. And we can we certainly speak to that what the Hawaiians knew and what the what the, the, you know, for lack of a better way, the shamans or the or the healers in Hawaii, which, which is part of my lineage, understood in a way that most people don't understand, is that everything is energy. Mhm. Everything is energy. Everything moves with energy and everything has energy. You know, in Hawaiian culture, we believe that everything had that consciousness of energy. Even rain had a consciousness. Right? Rain, wind. It's the reason why there's over 200 words for the different kinds of wind or the different kinds of rain in the Hawaiian language, because it was all descriptive. So. And how can you make it rain on this side of the street and not rain on this side of the street? It's understanding the flow of energy. Right? And emotions is is energy. So as you're talking about living a vibrant life, it's really being in tune, not with what your mind is telling you, because your mind is always going to want to steer you into a place of safety. Safety i.e. suffering safety, i.e. survival and being able to step back from that and go, wait a minute, what am I feeling in this moment? And where is the energy of that is? You know, when I work with people, I'm looking for where the energy or how the energy is flowing through somebody's body and being able to help people understand what that feels like so that they can have the experience themselves. And once they start understanding about how and where and why the energy is flowing through their bodies, that's where the things start to change. You know, that's where the light goes on and in your client's eyes. And I know you know this feeling. And in that moment, you know, oh, they got it. They're getting it, you know.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. That's beautiful. And you just laid out the triple s right. The safety suffering survival. Right. And and I love that because let's just let's just call that forward for a moment because it's, you know, like I resonate with what you said. Of course that makes sense to me. Although I've been in this world of personal and spiritual transformation for almost 30 years, and I suspect that safety and survival are not synonymous with suffering for a lot of people. So would you say another word about why that is the case?

James Kawainiui:
Um, you know, when you ask me that question, I usually go with what comes up first. So I'm going to talk to you about what comes up first. Yeah, yeah. The ego is not concerned with quality of life. The ego and the egoic mind. And that part of us is only concerned with keeping us alive. So keeping us, if keeping us alive, means the fear of not trying something new. If that keeping is that keeping you alive, is not wanting to leave your house, or have conversations with people because you're afraid of of the communication, that's what's going to happen. And you may be miserable as a human being. And, and, and those are strong words. And I understand that. And yet at the same time, you live through the day and again eagles not thinking about quality of life. It's actually talking about you living through your day. And that's survival strategy that sits in the back of your brain that's been there since, depending on if you're into evolution or not. From the first two one celled protozoa that was floating in the ocean, everything has that survival instinct. It's not the piece that's supposed to drive our life. Mm. And when we can separate that out so that I can see that it is not about survival. This is about how I feel and what I want to do and what I want to accomplish. Hmm.

Daniel Aaron:
Beautiful, I love it. Thank you. Yeah. Okay. So. Well, that begs the question, then what is the part? Right? If that's not the part that's meant to drive our life, and maybe not the part that leads us to a a life of fulfillment or a life of aloha. What? What does.

James Kawainiui:
I think it's awareness. You know, scientists have proven that by the time we're 35, 95% of the things that we do during the course of our day is automatic response, automatic responses and automatic actions. And so we are continuously just reliving things that we've already relived. And there's no space inside that for improvement. There's no space inside there for growth. Because we we are creatures of habit. We work with patterns. And so those patterns are what run our life and the patterns that we were taught when we were growing up about the world being a scary place, money being evil, you know, you think, sit for a second and think about the the ideas that you were taught or the people that are around you and you. You learn to mimic as you're growing up. Right. And so this path of awareness, and this is the way that I explain it most of the time, our brains are these amazingly complex computers, okay. And and a computer, when you hit X, it shows X. When you hit shift X, it shows capital X. When you hit control X, everything disappears. Mm. Computer doesn't think about what it's doing. It just does it. Right. And so inside of us this happens. This happens. Hey, how's your day going? Great. Right. The trigger and the reaction. The trigger and the reaction. Because our computers are just, like, programed the same way our brains are. And so I talk about this as an awareness is like, as I can create space between what's happening in front of me and what I do. That that right there. That's the that's the space. That's the that's the gem. That's where life starts to change. Because you realize that in everything that you do. And this is really hard for a lot of people, you have a choice. Mm. You have a choice. In that moment you're either going to choose to to stay in that relationship. In that moment, you're going to choose to think that you have no money in that moment, you're going to choose to think that you can't do these things. And the crazy thing is the exact opposite of that exists inside you. And it's being able to realize that and create space so that you can make those choices.

Daniel Aaron:
Hallelujah! I am with you. Awareness choice. And I don't think you said these words exactly, but there's implied in what you said is ownership or responsibility.

James Kawainiui:
Absolutely, absolutely. There's this personal responsibility. Because if we continue to look at the world and say, I'm in this place because of these things that have been happening. Yeah, right. And and some of you may or may not have heard it. And that's a victim mentality because it's saying that all these things are the reasons why I'm where I am. And, and this is the way I look at. So I'm looking at it energetically. Right. This is how I talk to people about it. Every time you do that, what you did is you just gave your energy to whatever that was. Mm. And if you moving to your day, giving your energy to all these different things and reacting in all these different ways, then where's the energy that's inside of you to create your life? Mm. It gets diminished. I usually draw a circle with 100% in it, and then I start saying, here you are talking about your past. Here you are still angry at that person. Here you are doing this. Here you are being angry here. And I and I start drawing and I and I, and I put, um, um, I put amounts to those, I put, put totals to those and then I say, and then I scratched 100 and it goes to 90 and it scratches at 90 and it goes to 80. And a lot of times we talk about this and there's all you know, it comes down to like maybe, maybe 20%, 30% of the energy that we have available to us to create that I just gave away without even realizing it.

Daniel Aaron:
Absolutely. I'm 100% with you. 100%, in fact, as it is, um, I, I often think of it because I have a background in yoga. Right. And we talk about energy in the electrical system. I describe it as voltage. Right. And if we say you got 100V, but you got ten over there and five over there, and pretty soon it's a wonder that you're even alive. My goodness. Yeah.

James Kawainiui:
And you and your light gets duller and duller and duller because there's less energy. Yeah, there's less electricity running it. There's less electricity that that you have for yourself.

Daniel Aaron:
Absolutely. So, James, I if it's all right with you, I'm going to ask you a what to me feels like a kind of a tough question. Sure. Um, though you you are the best person I can imagine to address this. And it came up for me just now. It's a question that's been there for me quite a while. So I've, I've lived full time in, uh, in Hawaii now for seven years. I started visiting here 25 years ago. Uh, and while I'm not a, uh, thoroughbred historian, I do understand some of the history of these islands. And, um, one of the things that that I experienced here and this came out of, we were speaking about you used the word victimhood a little while ago. Right? Here is a land and a set of people who have been legitimately victimized, right? Taken advantage of, oppressed, stolen from, abused, mistreated. Right. And that's that's real. That's verifiable. That's horrible. Right. And and there's no changing the past from one perspective anyway. And yet what part of what I see here is there there are a lot of people that are still suffering from that and sort of that, that victimhood that was, was real in a sense, and maybe unavoidable is playing out in the future now, playing out in the present, in the future. Um, and, and part of me, like, wherever I go in my life, I want to make things better for everybody, the best I can. Um, and yet I'm also aware, especially as a white guy who didn't grow up here. Certainly not my place to tell anybody. Hey, you know, don't act like a victim. You know, I remember my mother was.

James Kawainiui:
That'll get you in trouble there.

Daniel Aaron:
You're in trouble anywhere. My my mother was a, um, affirmative action specialist. She was a a radical feminist leader in the 70s. And I remember, like, if I had a nickel for every time she said to me as a kid, never blame the victim. Right. And that that's something that happens sometimes. And and 100%. She's right. Like, that's a horrible thing to do. Yet if we can empower people to move beyond victimhood, then we're doing a service to them in some way. So that was, um, you know, 400 too many words I just said there. But hopefully you have a sense of what I'm asking about.

James Kawainiui:
Well, you know, you bring up a really interesting point, and it may not be exactly what we're talking about. We're talking about we're talking about the the generational programing that we, that we inherit. Right. And we can watch it and we can see it as it comes through. Just because our ancestors went through it doesn't mean that we actually have to hold on to it. And so there's this place of being able to look at that and go, that was the experience of my ancestors. I can continue to have this experience or I can see this. And again, this is all about choice, right? What are the choices that I can make to change the way that I feel and think about my world, you know, and I and in the Native American community, you know, it's it's very prevalent as well. And, and and there's it's prevalent in a lot of cultures where there has been I'm going to use the word exploitation in that way. And yet. If we continue to hold that energy. Okay. So we're talking about energy again. If you continue to hold that energy you're going to keep creating that energy. And so there's a way of looking at that and going I am. And sometimes when people are in that place, their hardest part is that you are the master of your own destiny. Right? I mean, to to people like that, that just sounds like words. There's no space inside of that because all they feel is despair. Again, the mind is saying one thing and they're disconnected from their energy, so they're not sure about where their energy is and what it's feeling like. And so being able to to to see. Right. So it's that place of going. Just because these things happen doesn't mean that they continue to. They have to continue happening. And and I know because it took a long time to unwind that thought form inside of me. And in some ways, every day there's a part of me that watches that and continues to make that choice of not falling back inside of that space. Right. And it comes down to that.

James Kawainiui:
It comes down to that empowerment. It comes down to realizing that. If people really understood how how amazing manifestors they are, right? They it would be in shock. And it's funny. I'm going to recall something that happened with a client of mine this morning, and I was talking to her and who, as a matter of fact, I met while she was on Maui, even though she lives in Washington. So. So the Maui connection keeps coming back. And we were talking this morning and, you know, there was a conversation that she needed to have with a friend, and the conversation was going to be really challenging. And she kept asking, how do I do this? How do I do this in a way that I'm not hurting? How do I do this in a way that I am empowering inside myself and taking my energy back and being able to to get my message across right. And just as she said that, her phone rang. It was the friend. And the friend said, hey, I think we need to talk. So I said, I and I told her that when she was talking to me, because she didn't even think about it this way. I said, do you just do you see how amazing a manifesto you are? And she said, what do you mean? I said, you were asking the question about how to do this. And they called you and initiated the conversation. The thing about it is, is that we keep manifesting pain. Mm. And because we keep manifesting pain, because it's the thing in our mind. I don't have money, there's no money, I don't have money, there's no money I have, I don't have money, there's no money, and there's not a place inside to break that cycle. Mhm. Because the thought form already says I don't have any money. You have money? I don't have money. You have money? I don't have money. Anger and resentment. And that's what that's the way that that in some ways we see that. Right. And so it's really stepping back and looking at and going, well wait a minute, I have opportunities.

James Kawainiui:
It's on me to understand that and it's on me to make those choices. And that's a, that's a that is a fundamental shift in the way that we live our lives that most people aren't willing to take. Mm. And and there's no judgment inside that. I'm not judging people for not doing that. And I'm not going to, you know, who am I to judge you for where you're at? You are. Yet if there's a space inside of that and you want to change and you're asking for help, I'm going to jump in there and I'm going to be your biggest supporter because I want. Yeah, exactly. I want that to happen. Right. Yeah, I could go on. I'm going to stop. Okay? Because you got you got you got to get me off my soapbox.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, well, you know, we'll we'll we'll hop from soapbox to soapbox. Right. Uh, you've got a lot of beautiful wisdom to share. And you know what came to mind for me as you were sharing that last piece is a line that popped up I remember hearing from Byron Katie decades ago. She said, Planet Earth is a great place to be once you learn the rules. Right? And that connects to me from there's this line from the Bible, right, which is now known as the Matthew effect. And it goes something like to those that have more will be given to those that don't have all shall be taken away. And to me, that's exactly what you said. If we have in here, I don't have anything. I don't have money. Well, then, whatever we do have is going to be taken away because the outer worlds got to correspond. Right? Exactly.

James Kawainiui:
You know, and that's and that's the power of that, of that again, that's the flow of the energy. Right. So if you if you bring it all back into, into that, that understanding the energy and what the energy is doing, you know, for some people it may make sense. I mean, for me it makes sense. And so that's the reason why I talk about it. And I look at it that way and so becomes this, this opportunity to become more aware of. You. And I were talking about this before we got on, more aware of what I'm thinking, how I'm thinking about it. Right. Probably the worst place that people go is. And if you had them and I do I do this with people is one of the one of the pieces of homework I give them is I want I said, I want you to go through your day and I want to and I want you to notice how you talk about yourself and you talk about your life. And then we're and then we're going to come back and we're going to talk about that. And so we see all the depth, self-depricating words, all the self-deprecating ideas and thoughts that we carry about ourselves and, and, and all they do is continuously undermine us. And it's not helpful when, when we're in that place. And so it's like breaking that cycle. It's becoming aware, you know, of of that we're actually even doing that and that we're actually even doing that to ourselves. Yeah.

Daniel Aaron:
It's I'm with you. It's it's it's phenomenal how how crippling, how painful and how sad it is that we are doing that and phenomenal how often it's the case that we can do that without even knowing that we're doing it.

James Kawainiui:
That key that's the key to that's the key to the whole point right here is we're doing it and we're not even aware that we're doing it. Yeah.

Daniel Aaron:
So I go ahead, please. No, no, I.

James Kawainiui:
Was just going to say and that's the level in some ways of unconsciousness that we, that, that that the collective because we got to look at, we, you know, we can talk about the individual, but we're talking about the collective energy. This is the the collective energy is what's driving a lot of the thought forms that we have. And so I and oh my gosh, that's a whole different discussion that you and I could go down because it's like, how do I know who I am if this collective energy is driving these feelings and these thoughts all the time? And so, like I said, I we do not need to go down that road. And yet that is a that is a conversation that really needs to happen because I don't most people don't even know who they are, what they're thinking. And if their thoughts are their their own thoughts or what they're feeling from the people and the situations around us.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, cool. Well, that maybe we will go down that something first though, because it's just, it's right in front of me with with what you were saying. This, this. The way you put it is getting people to to go through the day and notice the thoughts they have about themselves. When I work with clients and in my programs, I describe a similar process as on the one hand, hell week, and on the other hand Liberation week. Right? And nobody.

James Kawainiui:
Nobody ever gets up in the morning and says, I want to hit every red light, get a speeding ticket and get a flat tire on the way to work and fight with my boss. Nobody ever wakes up in the morning thinking that way. Why wouldn't we.

Daniel Aaron:
Know? And I'll tell you this, though, like I've come to this, one of my coaches, uh, popped this phrasing into my head not long ago, which is, um, how to become trigger happy, right? And trigger happy. Not in the, uh, typical sense, but in the sense of what are the things that instigate these negative thoughts about myself. Right. So I have the orientation now that when I find something that leads to me being aware that I was being mean to myself, oh, I'm excited because while it's painful, that's the hell part. It's also liberating because if I can see it, then I can become free of it, right?

James Kawainiui:
Most people don't get excited, though, when they find out that they're doing something quote unquote wrong. Right. And you and I talked about this before we got on on the show, too. We find out that we're doing something wrong. And I'm going to ask all of you out there, what's the first thing that you would do? What's the first thing that most people do? We gives ourselves a hard time. Yeah. And as soon as you do that, um. The games lost. Really? All bets are off the table because it takes us back into this place of putting us back into that circle again. Mm. Really does. Yeah. You know. And so. That's, you know, the words that we use and catching ourselves and not dropping any immediately into judgment. You know, those are powerful tools to to embrace and give yourself permission to, um, incorporate into your lives.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, there could scarcely be a better opportunity for a segue into the concept of ho'oponopono, right? So would would you be up for, you know, I don't know what everybody's association is with. So maybe if you're up for sharing a little bit about what what it really is and what some of the maybe misunderstandings around Pono are.

James Kawainiui:
I'd love to. So for most people and what's been, um. I guess what's been shared over the last 25, so 25 years or so, is that ho'oponopono is this practice of forgiveness. And I'm sure that there's a lot of people that are going to be listening to this show that have done, uh, I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you mantra. Right. And. I'm going to preface all of this by saying, I'm not saying that that's wrong, because that's a very powerful practice. I've watched. It changed lots of people's lives. The the rub that I had with it for a long lots and lots and lots of years is that's actually not authentically Hawaiian. It's a process that was created based on what someone saw ho'oponopono as so ho'oponopono in its in its beauty and in its, um, originality was a is not was is a process for resolving conflict. And it was used as a group process to resolve conflict between people, to resolve conflict between families. And in Old Hawaii, that was the process of ho'oponopono. In my research on ho'oponopono, the word did not actually exist before European contact, and the first use of the word ho'oponopono was actually in the early, early, early Hawaiian newspapers. And it was. And they it was referred to as the editor of the paper that was, that was in charge of correcting and making sure that the paper was, you know, in alignment with what it was, you know, what it was supposed to be. And it is in its intent. And so over the years, it's kind of gotten a different meaning to it. But but the reality is whole is to emphasize pono. Pono is kind of emphasizing the idea of pono. And so when you look at Ho'oponopono, what what we're really talking about is the concept of pono. And the concept of Pono is living in right relationship with myself and the world around me. Period. And pure and simple. Okay, the Pono is about Pono is about righteousness. Pono is is about correct. Pono is about about making the right choice. In some ways, Pono is about integrity, right?

James Kawainiui:
Because when I start living my life where I'm, I'm doing my best not only to be in relationship and right relationship with the world around me, it that takes a lot of self-reflection and inside of the whole upon upon a process before everybody came together. And I'll explain the process so that people understand it. Before everybody came together, there was this really deep, um, introspection meditation. They would actually do physical cleanses to clear the body and clear the mind so that when we when everybody came together to talk about what the issue situation problem was that everybody was clear inside of that in the whole point of pono process, when people realize that there was a disruption. And the reality of of this is that the reason that this is in some ways, this this process was so powerful is because we were a culture that was entirely self dependent. We had to depend on ourselves. We were you got to think Hawaii is in the middle of the ocean. There was no ships coming to supply you. You are on your own and you're going to survive based on your abilities of survival and the people around you. And so, first and foremost, Ho'oponopono was keeping the relationships clear with the people that were around you. When there was conflict. The conflict might be between two people, but yet when the conflict is not resolved, it starts affecting everybody else. And so then it starts affecting everybody else so that their livelihood or their lives change are impacted by the conflict between that person or inside of that family. Right. And so people would do their best to resolve that conflict. And when they weren't able to, because we were so caught up inside of being having to be. Right. Because that sounds familiar or or my way is better than your way or however we look at this in modern times, we realize that we needed help. And so they would bring in a kahu, or they would bring in an elder who sat and was and would mediate the process. Because if you've ever been in an argument and you're trying to explain yourself and somebody's talking over you, right? Never happens, right?

James Kawainiui:
Or you are trying to explain to something and they are so caught inside of where they are they're not hearing you anymore. Mhm. So is this it was this breakdown really part of Ho'oponopono is a breakdown in communication. Mhm. Right. There was ceremony that was involved because Ho'oponopono to me is a ceremony. There was prayer that brought everybody together for this, for this focus of resolving this conflict. And everybody agreed to follow and, and, and allow the mediator to move the energy. Okay. That's what they were doing, moving the energy. And so part of it is that everybody in the circle, everybody who was inside of this process that came together, everybody had a chance to talk. And everybody had a chance to listen. You could not say anything while that person is. Doesn't matter how you are feeling, what they were, if you believe them or not, if or what they're saying was a lie, it doesn't matter. Everybody had their chance and their opportunity to speak and went around the circle one by one by one. Everybody would have a chance to for to speak and show what and talk about where their grievance is and what they feel. And that was just the beginning. And then after that it was being able to go inside and go out. Was I actually listening to what they say? Was I too worried about my point of view? And I'm talking and there's a parallel between that and modern Life now, because we're looking at the polarity that we're living at in our world and realizing that we've stopped communicating, and we stop talking to each other and we stop listening to each other. And listening was a big piece of that process. Right? And so once everything came together, you know, together and, and the mediator would say, okay, now do you all know now I want you to go off and I want you to think about what's said, think about where you are, and think about how what you've done may have impacted the other person feeling this way or looking at this way. So there was a lot of self responsibility inside of this, and there's a lot of self-reflection inside of this.

James Kawainiui:
Because part of this is, is the process is having to take responsibility for where you are and how you feel. Beautiful forgiveness could be one of the byproducts at the end of the process, but it was not the reason why people did and why we did ho'oponopono as it as a culture. No Hawaiian ever said I'm sorry. Please forgive me, I love you, thank you. I guarantee you. No, that doesn't that wasn't even part of it. It's not the way I was taught when I was growing up. It was not the way that the kupuna talked about ho'oponopono is not the way that it was taught. Mm. And the more that happened, um, people kept talking to me about ho'oponopono and the process, and they kept saying, oh, yeah, you know, you're Hawaiian. You must know about this process and for, for lots of years. And it gets kind of shook my head and I went along with it, and they got to this point where I went and the kupuna were in the back, and you got to tell the truth. And they were yelling at me, you got to tell the truth. You got to explain to people what was going on. And so I would say it wasn't until about maybe five or 6 or 7 years ago where I started, I started correcting people when they started saying that to me. And, and I got some really strange looks and, and people weren't too happy because I was telling them that they were wrong and I wasn't telling them that they were wrong. I was trying to explain to them what was going on. And so finally, for about the last four years, they've been going write the book, write the book, write the book, straighten this out. And so I started writing a book about a year ago about the process. And so it's because in some ways really hope Pono can be this amazing model for personal development and self development and self reflection and taking responsibility. All the things that we've talked about all the way up to this point today. Daniel. Yeah, are all those pieces that are inside of that. Right. And, and.

James Kawainiui:
Atonement is part of it. Taking responsibility is part of it. Forgiveness can be a part of it and inside the process as a whole upon an opponent. And this is really the beautiful thing about that is that the process went on, and it could mean months, weeks or months that it went on until everybody came to the conclusion and everybody agreed on the solution. Um, that that was the only time that that process, a whole panel was complete. Um, because the agreement inside of that is once it's done, once everybody agrees, once you walk away from it, it is never to be spoken of again. And how many arguments and how many? How many of you are still carrying stuff around from 20, 30, 40 years ago, or even from last week or from this morning? And how do we create this harmonious life inside ourselves and with the people that are around us? If we're not even in alignment and we're not even aware of how and what we're doing inside of that process. And so that's what makes Ho'oponopono so special, is because it was that process. And then just like anything in Hawaii, what do we do? We said pool. We said prayer. And then we all had a meal because we shared a meal because now we're back in community. Mhm. And that communities come back together. And what a beautiful way to to honor community and celebrate community through the sharing of again food but energy. Right. So we're talking about energy again.

Daniel Aaron:
Awesome. Thank you. Well and I'll, I'll echo and highlight a couple things you said with that. One is I love. I love the the way you spoke about the process that a lot of people think of as ho'oponopono, right. The four lines to that mantra. And you did that with great respect. And yeah, it can be useful for sure. I've seen that with people and that for me, I'm an optimist. So I say, you know, if it if it's healing or beneficial for you to jump up and down three times and quack like a duck, go for it, man. That's awesome. Um, and there's a value in saying. That's not exactly what this is. Let's let's clear up this misunderstanding. Right.

James Kawainiui:
Not only clearing up the misunderstanding, but it's looking at that going. You know what? It hope that that version of what Ho'oponopono is or what people are talking about inside. That's really just the beginning. Yeah. Because there's a whole there's everything else that comes with it then is about understanding yourself. Right. You know, what did the what did they say about the Dora that know thyself. Right. And so it's this continuous process of of looking, reflecting, being brave enough to, to come to this place inside yourself. And, and at the same time, there's a gentleness and a compassion that we have to have for ourselves. Without that, it's really challenging to move through that process. Yeah.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, and what you described in, in the real historical and authentic opponent process, it's about. When there's conflict and restoring harmony when the harmony is disrupted. And that's an outer experience of what we were speaking about earlier, which is when we judge ourselves or beat up on ourselves for things. We're doing that same thing inside ourselves.

James Kawainiui:
Absolutely.

Daniel Aaron:
Now we're just using it, using other people as the screen for our projections, as our mirror. So it's it's exactly the same thing just from in different applications. Does that make sense? Yeah.

James Kawainiui:
Oh absolutely. It is projection. Because if I don't feel good about myself, how can I feel good about the people and the things situations around me? Right. And so they are going to reflect back that feeling or that thought, you know, and, and when I work with people, I say that because as they change inside, they start watching things happen and they go, James, this is amazing. This thing is happening. And I said, yeah, it's happening because watch where you are, see where you are inside of this, and realize that you're in some ways the initiator. Right? So when you talk about co-creation, this is co-creation at its finest.

Daniel Aaron:
As within so without. Absolutely. So we I.

James Kawainiui:
Know that's a. Lot of ground Daniel. We just covered a lot of ground. We really did.

Daniel Aaron:
Absolutely. And you laid it out beautifully for us. And I was just thinking what we need another six or so hours for me to get to my other questions for you. We don't have that. Uh, not now anyway. So as we are coming around to the end of our time, uh, is there anything that I haven't asked you about, James, that you would love to mention?

James Kawainiui:
No, no, I mean, just like you, you know, we're we're here and and people find us or people are ready to take that step, you know, just like you are. Just like anybody that is in the healing arts and our practitioners, you know, that first thing to do is to realize that maybe it's something this is something that I can't move through on my own, and that having somebody there to guide and have us, you know, a different set of eyes or show us a different perspective on something can be really powerful. And that's not a sign of weakness. It's actually a sign of strength because it's saying, I'm ready to take these steps because I'm not happy where I am, or I'm ready to change what I'm doing, you know? And this understanding that is we didn't come here to be in pain. We actually came here to be to not only to be in service, but to understand ourselves on deeper levels so that we can actually, when we do serve or share that it comes from this amazingly beautiful place because we, we feel this, this, whatever it is, that's positive energy, empowerment, whatever it is inside us. And all we want to do is share that with other people because it feels so good to us. I know you know what this feels like, Daniel, because you do the same thing, right?

Daniel Aaron:
Well, yeah, I mean, we we are brothers from another mother, for sure. And and that was a great, uh, a great bridge you provided for us there. So what is the best way for people to get a hold of you, James, if they want to connect or go further with you?

James Kawainiui:
The best way for people to reach out would just be to. You can either go to my website, and I'm sure that in the show notes that the website is going to be there. It's W-w-w dot James koin.com or to reach out to me personally and just at James at James koin.com and just say, hey, I think I'm ready to have a conversation. And and I tell people this all the time, hey, I'll talk to anybody for 30 minutes, you know, and sit down with you and maybe help point out something or help bring something to light that you may not be able to see, and maybe outline a way of moving forward if you're ready to move forward, you know? But I think the initially it's about having a conversation. Mm. You know, step stepping out and saying I think I could use some help. And believe me, I got my people I they're, they're, there's a handful of people that I go to. So when I'm in the deep shit and I'm excuse my language, but when I'm in the deep shit, I reach out to them and say, hey, I need another perspective here. I need some help looking at this. And I think when we all do that, um, you know, the world can be a better place. And as we share in that way.

Daniel Aaron:
Agreed. Completely agreed. So great. You said your website, the URL address before and helped me realize that I mispronounced your name earlier. So pardon me for that. And I'm going to I'm going to spell it out for everybody. In case you don't know what Kawainui sound looks like written, James is like you would think James and kawainui is k a w a I n u i.com. And uh, James, I believe you have a, uh, a free gift for the audience. Is that true?

James Kawainiui:
I do for anybody that listens and and again the link will be in the show notes would be to click on that link and it's, and it's actually um, I call it the meditation of self love and all. Today we talked about this meditation or this understanding of loving ourselves and also pdf of a process that I came up with for Open Pono that people can use. You know, part of the book that I'm writing is giving people a practical application of how they can move through that process, and this is just kind of like an outline of what that is so. Beautiful. And so that all of it's there for you. You know, all you have to do is say, yes.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, that's a it's an awesome gift, a generous gift. And, uh, thank you for that. So I.

James Kawainiui:
It's my. Honor to be here with you today. Thank you.

Daniel Aaron:
Uh, well, yes, likewise. Thank you for saying that. And I got one more question for you. If you are up for it, it's the, uh, the big question, the impossible question. And, um, and I say that because, um, you've got so much experience. Right? And and not only, uh, the wisdom that you have received, the experience from your learning and all, you know, across your diverse background, if though you needed to boil that all down, distill it into one piece of wisdom, one thing to share, what's the one thing you would say that will help our audience to live their most vibrant, thriving life?

James Kawainiui:
I would say that. The practice of self love is probably the most important thing that we can do right now. You know, and being able to resolve that inner conflict with ourselves and and to realize that you are more magnificent than you actually realize and give yourself credit for. And it's something that I say to myself every day. And so it's that place of, of how can I. Love myself better. I can't say it any better than that, because as that self-love comes in and you realize the beauty of who you are, you, I guarantee you you're going to start seeing that in the world around you.

Daniel Aaron:
Hallelujah. Thank you for that. And you said it beautifully. It's it's one of those things that's incredibly simple. Not always easy. Right.

James Kawainiui:
I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt, but I was going to say, you know, if you're talking about living a vibrant life, the art of living a vibrant life, it's that peace, that self love or the understanding of that and that kindness, that aloha, which is that kindness and that connection with people. As we understand that that vibrant life that you're looking for will unfold in front of you. Mhm.

Daniel Aaron:
Awesome James, thank you so much for again all the work that you've done to get to this point. That's huge. And for you know generously investing this time with us in the audience. I really appreciate this opportunity my friend.

James Kawainiui:
My. My honor and my pleasure. And if you take any small thing away from anything that Daniel and I have talked about today, um, I'd be most grateful because that will put you on the road to to knowing yourself better and loving yourself in a different way.

Daniel Aaron:
Perfectly said. And to y'all in the audience, I echo what James just said. That's my injunction commandment request to you, which is do something about it, right? No, not not just oh, that's a good idea. It's actually like, hey, how can I apply something even a little bit? Because that will measurably change your life. And by doing that, you we change the world. So I am so grateful, y'all, for being here I love you, I love that you are interested in creating your life into more vibrancy. And I'm super grateful that you've had this time with us. Thank you so much and see you soon! Aloha! Mahalo for tuning in to the Art of Vibrant Living show y'all! I'm Daniel Aaron and may you live with great vibrancy.

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