Special Guest Expert - Judy Thureson: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Judy Thureson: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Daniel Aaron:
Does it take to create a vibrant, thriving life? First, the sad news is that Thoreau was right. Most people are leading quiet lives of desperation, lacking in meaning, fulfillment, and vitality. But we choose more. We choose to create extraordinary lives and the art of vibrant living. Show entertains you with inspiration, empowerment and education to create your life into a masterpiece. It's time. Let's vibe up. Aloha y'all. Welcome to the show. I am Daniel Aaron, your host. This is the Art of Vibrant Living show and we have an amazing show. I'm so excited for today's show, y'all. First, let me tell you, just in case it's not obvious the art of vibrant living. What does that mean? Your birthright. And I would suggest this might sound a little bit pushy, but I suggest actually it's your obligation to. To live a vibrant, thriving, extraordinary, amazing, wonderful, fantastic, life filled, purpose filled, prosperity filled life. Because we have the technology, it's possible. And that's what we are all about on this show. Y'all is entertaining you. Yes, there'll be some cool stories and even better, empowering you. My suggestion. My request of you today is please take at least one thing and say that's cool and apply it right. Try it out. Do something with it in your life. You're going to get so many opportunities for that because. So excited our guests today, Judy Thorson. Hopefully I pronounced her name correctly. I've never said her last name out loud. Oh, goodness. Amazing, amazing woman, an author, a coach, a speaker, an event producer, a woman of power, beauty, grace and authenticity. She's written a number one best selling book called Beautiful Tragedy, which I will ask her about and hopefully she'll tell us about soon. And such a pleasure to have you here with us, Judy. Thank you so much for being with us.

Judy Thureson:
Thank you for having me. What a beautiful introduction. I'm so happy to be here.

Daniel Aaron:
Oh, awesome. So. I have a slight advantage over our audience in that I know you a little bit and we've we have some friends in common. Um, for the audience. So that may not know you yet. Would you be up for sharing a little bit about who you are and how you got here to this point? Author. Coach, bestselling author, speaker? Event producer. Super positive. How did you do that?

Judy Thureson:
Well, I think we need like two weeks. I'm one of those people. I've had several lives, so starting with my professional career, I was actually a professional dancer back in the 80s when MTV was a thing. That was my biggest goal in life is, you know, what can I do to be on a in a music video, right? And I did that. I toured and I traveled, and then I went behind the camera and did some work behind the scenes with talent, being a talent agent and event producer for for different shows. Um, after that, I actually went into ministry, if you can believe that, and started, you know, really young, being interested in serving people, being interested in, um, holding space and really just loving people who were hurting so that that's always been an innate part of of who who I am. Um, after that, I got married, stayed home, uh, raising my my children. And about the eve of my 40th birthday, I realized I want to come out of retirement. And it seemed like health and wellness was a great segue coming from a professional dancer background. And so I started, um, fitness classes and I, you know, uh. Started it off just as a hobby and thought, hey, how can I bring my friends along? We all just had babies together and everyone's trying to, you know, get, get fit, get in shape. And this is before social media. And so I remember just putting out a little email saying, hey, I'm going to be at the park. If you guys want to work out with me, let's put together a little, you know, boot camp at the park, thinking maybe 3 or 4 friends will show up while those 3 or 4 friends sent out emails to their friends. And the first day we ended up having over 20 people there. And then the end of that week, we had, you know, more people. And by the end of the three years, I had opened six locations, hired four trainers, and had a full on business kind of by accident. And again, that was a great segue and evolved into more of a life coaching and just really supporting, um, women specifically into living their most vibrant life.

Judy Thureson:
I mean, I love the title of your your show here because it is really about living and thriving, um, our, you know, living our best life. And as you know, there's many pitfalls that life happens. And, um, 2019, I lost my son Jacob. He was only 18 years old, and I have always wanted to be an author and writing my book, Beautiful Tragedy, that was not the book that I thought I was going to write. Right. And so I say this all the time is that sometimes we choose our purpose, but other times our purpose chooses us. And this was not the lane I would have picked. But now my life's purpose is to, um, you know, really bring to light, you know, mental health, substance abuse, um, childhood trauma, really helping people heal from the inside out. And as painful and challenging as it is, it is, um, it is beautiful and tragic at the same time. But being able to help people along, um, with the tools that I've been given has been a real gift. Hmm.

Daniel Aaron:
Thank you. Well, um. Gosh, there's like 480 questions that come to me after you shared what you just did. And so let's let's start with this one. You know, I'm so sorry about Jacob. Um, and I, in my own family, I grew up around a lot of death. Uh, when I was young. And I know that one of the. You know, things happen in life and we can't say that anything. Well, we can say something shouldn't have happened. But of course, that's a recipe for suffering. So, you know, reality rules. And we could look at life from the perspective that what should happen? Well, exactly what has happened. Right. And, you know, to to speak of your experience of turning lemons into lemonade is way too simplistic and small a way of saying it. However, what I will say is, you know, there's something that feels just, I don't know, on the human level wrong. And I use those, you know, quotation marks, but wrong about a parent losing their child or a child dying before the parent. And I know my own mother, she had two of her children die before her, one of them from substance abuse and mental illness. And she never my mother never really recovered from that, you know, she never healed from it. And as I was learning more about you, Judy, I saw the the timeline of Wright Jacobs passing was 2019. Your book came out, I think, in 2020.

Judy Thureson:
Right.

Daniel Aaron:
And that's, that's I mean, who knows what the, the right speed is, but that, you know, like I looked at those dates and I was like, wow, that's amazing that you were able to like take the tragedy of that and find the beauty of it and then bring it out to the world as a gift, as a service in such a short period of time. Um, is does that make sense? And what was your experience of that?

Judy Thureson:
Wow. Well. I have like chills all over because it was super natural. It if it would have been on my own timeline, I can guarantee you that this book would not have ever been, uh, published. Uh, before the show, we were kind of talking about how I'm very open and unfiltered and authentic. And so when you read my book, it's pretty much like reading my journals. And the morning of June 13th, 2019, Eric and I were having lunch, uh, breakfast, and we were talking about this new meditation mindfulness program that I was going to launch into the world. It was something that was so powerful, something I was so passionate about. That was the missing link in my life. You know, I was sharing. I've been into fitness and wellness and, um, you know, mindset coaching. But this meditation mindfulness practice that I had developed, I really felt like needed to be launched into the world. And so that morning at breakfast, I told Eric. I feel a little apprehensive doing this because every time I try to do something for me, something bad happens to Jacob and he says, oh, that's you know, you're just saying that, you know, you're going to be it's fine. It's going to be fine. We're going to launch this and this is your thing. We're going to do this together. I said, okay, and I don't know if it was just mother's instinct or premonition, I don't know. But about an hour later, I get a phone call. After Eric left for work. I get a phone call about an hour after that conversation, and it was Jacob's girlfriend saying that Jacob was found unresponsive and he was being rushed to the emergency room. And so little did I know that these tools that I was getting ready to birth into the world were actually the tools that I needed for me. At this time to walk me through this, you know, dark night of the soul season of my life. And so fast forward, we we make it to LA. And Jacob is in a coma for two weeks and he never regains consciousness. Sadly, he passes June 27th, um, 2019. And every single day I was journaling from the moment that I got that phone call all the way to his passing, all the way to his memorial and the funeral.

Judy Thureson:
And so it's a 40. My book is a 40 day snippet. It's 40 chapters, and it's every single day. From the moment that I got that phone call. And every day part of the meditation practice is being still and being silent and listening for the word, for the intention that for me, what spirit is to give me for the day. And so some days we're just one word surrender, one word. One day it was, um, either a phrase of lean into the pain. So these all these little snippets of what I would hear the spirit tell me in that 40 day period, I would write them down and, you know, journal them. And those became the chapter titles for the book. So when you when you look at the timeline of, you know, Jacob past June 27th of 2019, my book launched March of 2020. It was very short because, um, it was in real time. I mean, you're getting the real emotions and I'm, you know, I'm really glad that it was that way, because if I would have waited like 4 or 5 years, I don't know if you would get the rawness and the freshness of really what I'm feeling in the moment. And so it's very powerful. So back to the supernatural part. Um, September of 2019, I come back home from LA because that's where Jacob was living. And after all the arrangements and everything, you know, come back home, try to pick pick up the pieces. Let me put a pause right here, back to what you're saying about it's unnatural for a parent to bury their child. There's not even a word in the English English language, if you think about it. There's orphans, there's widows, there's widower. But there's not a name in the dictionary for a parent who loses a child because it's not the right order of things. It's we can't even fathom it. You know, you as a parent, I'm sure, uh, you know, I think that's why this resonates so much for us as parents. Because we couldn't imagine. Right. And so back to September. Fast forward. I'm having lunch with a friend, a coffee with the friend, and she says to me through tears, Judy, you need to write a book.

Judy Thureson:
I've been following your journey. I was very vocal on social media about my journey with Jacob and she said, it's so inspiring. It's there's so much hope. We we need you need to write a book. And to be honest, inside I was very offended because I thought that is the last thing I'm thinking about right now is writing a book. How dare you even ask me to say that? And I didn't say it out loud, but inside I'm feeling like that's that's the last thing on my mind right now. I go to bed that night, I in the middle of the night. Whether it's an audible voice or dream, a vision, I don't know. But the voice says, Judy, you're a writer. And it wasn't a nice encouraging like, hey, you're you're a writer, go do it. It was almost angry and said, stop making excuses and write this book. So the next day when I woke up, I started writing on my phone with my thumbs 18 days later. This book poured out of me 18 days, 45,000 days of 45,000 words, and the book was written. Now fast forward to that March of 2020. Do you remember what's happening March of 2020?

Daniel Aaron:
Some vague recollection of that period? Yes.

Judy Thureson:
Where the whole world was pretty shut down at that time, right? And, um, at this point, we had already launched the book. Preorders were already sold. You know, hundreds of books were already pre-sold. And I went into deep fear. My my editor, the publisher said, you need to go through one last edit round. When it's ready to go, it's going to go to print. So I remember very clearly that day I could not even open my computer. I was paralyzed with fear. And I turn around and I looked at my husband, Eric, and I said, turn off the website, refund everyone's money. I'm not I'm not going to launch the book. I just I'm not doing it. Because for me, I knew that once that goes public, there's no taking it back. And it was so raw and so vulnerable that I just got scared. So I'm in the backyard, I'm crying. I'm having, you know, a meltdown, and I get a text message from a friend saying, hey, Judy, somebody has a friend of mine has a message to you from Jacob. Are you open to hearing it now? I come from a very fundamental Christian background, you know, in a box. So messages from the dead was not something I was used to, which just wasn't part of my life. So when she said, hey, I have a message to you. Are you open to hearing it? I said, sure, I'll, I'll listen, you know, what do I have to lose? So she said, okay, I'm going to give her your phone number. So she gives this woman my phone number. She calls me, right? And this is the day when I said I'm not launching the book. I'm in the backyard, I'm melting down, and I get this text message. I cannot even make this up. It's in the book. I write about it. So this woman calls me and she says, Judy, I have a message to you from a Jacob. I don't know if this is going to make any sense to you, but he said he wants you to hurry up and finish because he wants his story to be told.

Judy Thureson:
So when I say that if it was up to me, this book would not be out there. Supernaturally. God. Jesus, Jacob, whoever said no, you're doing this and you're and we're pushing you to to to do this. And since then, I'm so proud that this book has saved lives. You know, my my son was 18, he was a rapper. He was an artist. He had a fan base. People have written to us and said, because after reading your book, I, um, I was I wanted to commit suicide. And after reading your book, I decided to stay or I was addicted to drugs. After reading your book, I threw all my pills down the toilet and turned myself in and went to rehab. And just countless of stories like this. So this is a legacy book for me. You know, maybe not a New York Times best seller, but I don't care. What I care about is this saved lives and the and the legacy and the purpose and Jacob's, um, death not being in vain. So it's just a very powerful story. And, um, thank you for asking.

Daniel Aaron:
Wow. Goodness. Uh, I'm nearly speechless, which is a rare thing for me. Um, I got, uh, chicken skin goosebumps a several times as you were describing that journey. And, well, first thing, thank you for your vulnerability in and your vulnerability and sharing that with us. But and your vulnerability in what you brought to the book in that process. And I wasn't tuned in. We didn't know each other then. But you know what you described with your social media presence around it? Um, I can feel the vulnerability in that. And. You know to. Take something that is such a tragedy and so difficult and so private. And I don't know if you had the experience of this or not, but I know, like for my mother and a lot of people, my mother, one of hers was, uh, one of her children killed themselves also. Right directly. Um, and so there's often even though it's not deserved, there's a sense of shame or guilt that can come for a parent, uh, burying their child. Because, again, it's not it's like it's not the natural order of things. And I didn't know that about the there being not being a word for that in, in English. And that's fascinating. Um, and scary and weird. And, um, we should do some. I will do something about that. I don't know what yet, but, um, coming back around, though, for you to so understandable that you had that moment of, like, melting down. I'm not going to do this. Forget it. Right. And sure. Why not? I mean, it's such a private and painful thing, yet that you were then open to hearing this message that was not part of your normal way of doing things from your background. And and then to have the courage and vulnerability to say, all right, let's let's hit go on this and bring it out. Um, that's such a an act of vulnerability and courage and power and generosity. Um, so thank you for all of that.

Judy Thureson:
Um, thank you. Thank you for noticing. And, you know, part of it was also me being a little defiant because to your point, as I'm sharing these things on social media and being super vocal in invisible about my journey, I have people in my messenger, my DM, saying, me too. And these are pastors, police officers, people in leadership positions who didn't feel like they could be open about what was happening in their lives because of shame, stigma, status. Right. You know, my husband, Eric, is right now in the middle of filming a documentary, you know, for this exact same reason. I think the more that we talk about it, the more we give others permission. You know, I my heart goes out to your mom, right? Because I know like that's any of us can be there so easily. But for me, I felt almost this defiance of I'm going to be in the front lines, and if I have to take the heat so that other people can have the safe space to to share and talk, I mean, it makes me emotional because it's so important, you know, it's already we suffer in silence and we don't have to. Healing happens in shared communities where we can share our pain with one another. Do you do you know that, um, our tears, there are certain tears that when when the. It's a different type of tear, grief, tears, the little bubble. So that when you are visible, when you're face to face, someone, you know that there, there are certain tears that you can, um, differentiate. Isn't that interesting? There's tears of joy, there's tears of grief, there's tears of pain. But even our tears have, um, a certain analgesic that is a painkiller. So when we stop people from feeling their emotions, what we're really saying is, hey, don't heal. Stay, stay. You know? Um, I don't want to say broken because grief is not being broken. It's just a natural emotion that it's it's it's what helps us to remember that we're human. It's a full gamut of emotions that we have, and we can't pick and choose them. So I'm very free with expressing all the feelings because all of them are good.

Daniel Aaron:
Hallelujah. Thank you. Yes, I am so with you. And you know I'm with you. It's not broken, though. Another May was saying. Maybe it's broken open. Um, and that's like. This is a weird, uh, jump. I'll bring it back in a second, but I remember I love I love stories, right. That's always been an important part for me is stories reading novels or films or. Right. Because that's part of how I come to a greater understanding of people in the world and myself. And I remember reading an, uh, I guess it was a testimonial to a novel one time, and it said something about I'll paraphrase it because I don't remember exactly, but this novel does what any great novel should do. It makes you sad and afraid, and it breaks. You open and it breaks your heart, and then it allows you to put it all back together in a new way. Right. And there's this, this Jap, uh, part of Japanese philosophy. I think the word is katsugi.

Judy Thureson:
Kintsugi.

Daniel Aaron:
Yes. Is that right?

Judy Thureson:
Yes. Uh huh. Yeah.

Daniel Aaron:
So, you know, you want to say what it means then, because you're living it, right?

Judy Thureson:
Well, it's a it's a Japanese pottery that when it's broken, they don't just toss it, they put it back together, and they actually put it back together with gold. So that, you see, the cracks are all, you know, put together with gold. And it's it's what makes us beautiful. Those those broken pieces, those cracks, it's breaking you open, you know, Rumi says it's what's where the light comes in. Right. So not fearing that or not hiding that and not shying away from that is really running towards it. Because that's really how we get to feel our full humanity. And that is what. Bridges our gap. That is what connects us. Pain connects us more than success. Or, you know, all these accolades or accomplishments like, that's great. But really, this is the real deal. Whole soul to soul, heart to heart. Ah, brokenness. Uh, the feelings of of pain is really what connects us and brings and brings us closer together. And I feel like my book really does that. And and the purpose and the intention is, uh, with my book is I wanted grieving families to to not feel alone in their grief. And if they can just feel like, hey, there's one person that gets me and understands what I'm going through. And then my, my, um, you know, goal was accomplished.

Daniel Aaron:
Absolutely. Yeah. And that was the next place I was going is that you had this level of courage and vulnerability and rawness, and then to overcome with clearly divine intervention and assistance through those synchronicities can't make that up. I'm with you to overcome all of that, though, and then say, all right, it's going right. It's going out in the world. And then to be receiving the feedback from people that that it's changing their lives or keeping them alive. I mean, that's just such a beautiful thing and such a, a testament to to you and your courage in doing that.

Judy Thureson:
So thank you.

Daniel Aaron:
What? Um. What does it mean for you now? Like what? After that experience? Um, you know, losing Jacob and also the experience of of the book. How has that changed you or changed your life going forward?

Judy Thureson:
Who again, that's such a loaded question because, you know, in a weird way, I actually feel closer to Jacob now, even though he's on the other side of the veil. Um, he's very present. I get many signs. I get many, um, nudges. There's so many things that he has led me to. Um, I, we were talking earlier before. There's a mentor of mine, Steve Hardison, who, um, he's, you know, considered the ultimate coach and into to work with him. He charges, like, $200,000. Something crazy like that. Right. And he put out a contest and said, write to me and tell me why I should pick you. I'm driving to California from Arizona, and I'm picking, you know, uh, someone to write in the car with me. And at that point, that was your only access to him was if if you paid him that kind of money. And we know that's a very limited amount of people that can do that. So, of course, I was excited to put my name in the hat and in my essay or, you know, my message to him was really just sharing about Jacob and how Jacob was my greatest teacher. And what Jacob taught me was to how to live my life out loud and authentically, and to not worry about tomorrow because you're not guaranteed tomorrow. And so the whole spirit of my essay was, you know, I'm putting my name in the hat because I'm just going to live full out whether you choose me or not. I'm I'm going to put myself out there and, you know, and I got picked to go. And since then, um, Steve and I have developed this beautiful relationship where Jacob comes to Steve in dreams and has told Steve to do things that Steve wouldn't normally do. And, um, as long as whatever it is is impacting the greater good and is is helping transform lives, Steve will say yes to it. And and Jacob has been the one, the catalyst to really get Steve to do those things. So it's really fascinating. And and as you know, you know that that whole, um, book with the ultimate coach and Steve Hardison has created a global movement, and I've been able to spearhead these events, um, and that those things would not have happened had it not been for Jacob. And when I see the ripple effect of the, the the lives being transformed on so many levels, it's very humbling to be a part of that.

Daniel Aaron:
Well. It's beautiful. So. Goodness. Okay. Thank you. Uh, once again, what you said opens up like 400 questions for me. Um.

Judy Thureson:
I told you we could be here two weeks. Daniel.

Daniel Aaron:
I know, I know, I know, I love it, um, and that's one of my favorite things is, is when there is, like, a juicy conversation, there's. And I'm naturally curious. And you've got so much wisdom and experience to share. Um, so of all these options, let's go here. Um, because you, you and I, we both work as coaches, funnily enough, I was doing a presentation earlier today to a bunch of non coaches and, you know, speaking about how this profession of coaching and it's now considered a profession, not just some weird thing over there. It's growing so so strongly and getting recognized. Um, and yet still most people in the world are like, what do you mean coaching, like, doesn't make sense to them. Um, because, you know, mostly people still think of it as related to, like, you know, the high school football coach or something, right? So I love that you had that experience with Steve Hardison. You said, all right, I'm going to I'm going to put my name in the hat and go for this ride. And, um, and that you were chosen and you said earlier, like, you know, spend that much time with him, or, I guess, another way of saying it might be with, with such an extraordinary being or such an extraordinary coach. Um, and he is, you know, he's a person just like all of us. Yet as as a being, as a coach, as a luminary, there's something extraordinary about one of the things you said is. Life will never be the same. So in some way I'm asking this question like, so what happened? But in another way I'm saying like what? What can happen for people when when they when they meet themselves in that format or when they're with a powerful coach or have a powerful coaching experience? I know, so I'll stop talking in a minute, I promise. I know this wasn't set up for you. Like, oh, I'm going to go on a six hour coaching session. We're just going to be sitting in a car that wasn't the setup for it yet. We also know that for us who care about people, we're always in some way coaching. If people are open to it because it's really just like, how can I be of service? How can I help this person to create more of what they want in their life? Right. Um, which sounds like that's been a part of who you are always so with that ever so long. Ridiculous. Um, prelude to my question, what was your experience and how did it change you?

Judy Thureson:
Again. Another loaded question, right? Um. And not to sound so like cliché, but really. His being, his example of who he was being taught me more than what he actually said. At one point I was in the there were three of us that drove with him from Arizona to California, and then we we had to figure out how to get back home, because then he picked up another three from California, back to Arizona. So we're affectionately known as the six pack. So there were six of us total that had this opportunity. And I had the honor of being in the front seat with Steve. So I'm sitting there and I have a pad and a notepad and a pen, and I'm taking notes as he's talking. At one point he looks at me, he's like, what are you doing? I said, oh, I'm, you know, taking down all these golden nuggets. And he says, well, he says, that's silly because I'm sharing about a situation with this other person. If I were coaching you, I'd tell you something completely different. This is not like a one size fit all, you know, um, wisdom or advice. And he said, you know, if I were you, it probably be better to just be present. It's like, oh, okay. So I put it away so that I can just really absorb who he's being. And there were, there were 3 or 2 really important things that I knew. If I had an opportunity to be with him, what would I ask him? Number one is if I could only read one book for the rest of my life, what book would it be? And without, you know, uh, with, with without a pause, you said way of mastery. It's like, that's the book. I said, okay. And then the second thing I asked was, you know, I'm naturally a manifestor ever since I was a little kid, like, if I want something, it would just magically appear. And so I asked Steve. I said, I'm feeling kind of like the miracles are running out, like my my magic powers are running out. Uh, miracles always happen for me, but I feel like I've been a little bit too greedy because they just happen all the time, and I'm afraid they're not going to happen anymore.

Judy Thureson:
Like, what should I do with that? And very simply, he says to me, he says, well. Why don't you just stay with the first thought that miracles happen for you? And when those other thoughts come in, just don't think them so easy and simple, yet so profound. And like that little thing has shifted me in so many ways. Because, you know, I grew up also with a lot of trauma. And so one of the trauma responses is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Have you ever heard that turn before? Yeah. And so if something's too good, it's too good to be true. You know, you got to wait. There's something bad that's going to happen around the corner. So I'm always I was always setting myself up for that kind of that drop that fall. And him, Steve saying that to me really shifted me into, I can shift my being and create my thoughts all the time. And when the other thoughts come that are not useful or negative, I can shift it back to what's creative, what's miraculous, what's positive, what's lovely. And so that one little interaction literally has shifted my life, my marriage, my family, my business, my finances, you name it. And it all starts with the thought. So simple, yet so profound and so powerful. But it's a practice. It's a practice. So those are a couple of the big nuggets that really shifted me from being with him. And of course, the opportunity of being able to create the ultimate experience event and the doors that have opened for me, you know, with my coaching business and the relationships and the contacts and the networking that I've been able to, um, create and connect with has been just miraculous. And powerful and and you know, when, when you have a certain intention, you're vibrating at a certain level, frequency of this is my purpose, this is what I want to do, and this is how I want to serve the world. You know, the universe conspires to bring the right people in your path to help guide you towards that goal and that intention. And I feel like that is my life right now.

Judy Thureson:
And it's beautiful.

Daniel Aaron:
Wow. That's awesome. Thank you I love that. Okay, couple a couple things I want to reflect back or highlight from what you said because it's so important. Well, and one let's let me rewind a minute for anybody that's tuning in with us either live or by rebroadcast, uh, to make sure you're on the same page here. Who Judy is talking about is a man named Steve Hardison, who did not give himself the title. The ultimate coach didn't want a book written about him. Nonetheless, that's what occurred. And he is he is an extraordinary coach and extraordinary leader and being, um, and. Um, and and the book is fantastic. So, you know, if you're not familiar with what we're talking about, great to get the book whose title is The Ultimate Coach? It's a book that has changed many, many, many people's lives. Um, and in a similar yet different way that than what you're talking about. Judy, have you had the experience of being next to him in the car? And so you receive something from his being or his modeling, right, that that affected you, that inspired you, that showed you new possibilities. And the same is true in a different way from the book. Right? So people can have that experience. And now there's a whole community and movement, as you said, that offers access to to that in some way too. Um, so and, and I love you that you said it's a process or a process. Right. As you said. And I noticed as you were speaking, you said. Oh gosh, I don't know if I remember the exact phrase you said, but the way I observed it. And tell me if this if this is memorable to you or make sense, but you, you started to speak something and then you caught yourself, you were using the present tense, and then you caught yourself and said, I used to do it this way. Yes, yes.

Judy Thureson:
Yes. Uh huh.

Daniel Aaron:
Right. And that's just like, it's beautiful. Uh, I wish I remembered the exact phrasing, um, I am, I was something.

Judy Thureson:
Well, I, I was going to I said, I always do this and then I, I caught myself and I shifted and said, I used to do this. Right. Because what we identify with is who we who we become. So if I say, oh, I'm always anxious or I'm always, you know, worried or I'm always struggling, then that's what, that's how I'm going to shift my being. I always say, you know, our mind, our body, our spirit. It's only job is to make true what we tell it. So why don't we tell it something different that we actually want versus what we don't want?

Daniel Aaron:
Absolutely. Yeah. And I and I highlight that for one because you know here you are very successful in in multiple ways in your life. And it's great to to model. You're still working this stuff right. You caught yourself in that moment. Um, and and and also selfishly, I feel like I'm with, with my clients and students so often saying, hold on. Did you hear what you just said? Hold on. The language is so important. You know, it's like every day I'm having conversations like that. So it's, uh, it's fun to have someone else engaging in the importance of the way language affects thought. And that was just what you were saying. The the simplicity from Steve of, well, why don't you think the first part, but not the second part.

Judy Thureson:
Sounds silly, but it's so, so true. And first of all, can I just acknowledge you, Daniel? Uh, you are an incredible listener, reflector and interviewer. And I just love, uh, our interaction. I really feel your presence and your being, so I just wanted to acknowledge you for that.

Daniel Aaron:
Oh. Thank you. Super kind of you. Um. Something else you said reminded me of. Did you ever see a movie called Being There?

Judy Thureson:
No. Never heard of it.

Daniel Aaron:
I remember a a spiritual teacher of mine 25 years ago speaking about it as this is the best film example of presence, right? And his his languaging this teacher is quite an extraordinary dude, was all about presence being absolutely present in the moment, which you know, is no different than what Steve's teaching or modeling and just maybe with different language sometimes being right. And this, this film, I'm super excited now because I haven't thought of it for years. And I want to go back and see it. It's about a gardener in England who is incredibly simplistic. Um, yet so much natural wisdom comes from him that he he, through a weird series of events, ends up being like advisor to the prime minister, you know, and he get these questions and they say, well, what do you think about this? And, you know, and he would appear like, like he's not really all there. And he would say something like, well. In the spring, the daffodils come up, you know, and it wouldn't seem to make sense to anybody else, but people would connect somehow. But it was really about his presence, his being that inspired others. Um, I'm not doing it justice. I'll have to go back and watch it again, and I'll come back and report. Oh, I'll.

Judy Thureson:
Have to watch it. Yeah, that sounds sounds great. But, you know, when, um, when I met Steve, I had a copy. I had read the copy manuscript of The Ultimate Coach. It had not been released yet. And I have to say that the book doesn't do him justice. Right. And this isn't about, like, Steve worship or anything. It's, you know, I come from an entertainment background, right? So I, I'm used to seeing, um, celebrities on camera, but yet when I know them in real life, it's not congruent. It's, uh, totally a persona, you know? And usually who I meet in person is not not the same person. And and sometimes I wish, like, oh, I wish I didn't know that about you because, you know, I used to like you. And so when I first met Steve, to be honest, I kind of went in with that lens because that's something, you know, I'm very sensitive to of. All right. Let me sniff out anything that's not authentic, you know, like, does he match what I've read in the book, in the manuscript? And I can honestly say that the book doesn't even do him justice. Like who he is being, that presence that you're talking about when you're around him, you feel like you're the only person in the on the planet. And it's such a beautiful, um, just state of being. And what I love about this, again, it's not about Steve worship, but it's about seeing what's possible for me. Since being around him and learning those traits from him. I can be that for others where I'm so present with them that they're the only one that's in the room, they're the most important person in in my field. You know, that's in front of me at the time. And so that's what I love about Steve is is really what he helps you see are the possibilities of what you can be. He's not like, I'm up here and, you know, worship me. It's like, no, I'm here and you can be too. There's nothing about me that's that you can't do. I'm the same as you and really means that. And I feel like for me, that has helped me grow so much into stepping into the possibility of of the potential that I have.

Daniel Aaron:
Hmm. That's beautiful. And I appreciate that you brought that forward. Um, because that's, you know, I think that's what is. Well, that's what how do I want to say it? It's so important and it's so easily overlooked. And for all of us that are motivated to be of support or help, whether it's teaching, coaching, consulting, therapy, healing, whatever it is to continually be empowering the people that we are with. Um, and when I say empowering, meaning you have the power. It's not over here. Yeah. I remember we spoke for a moment before about astrology, and I remember when I first started working professionally with astrology, which I don't do very often, but when I first did it, one of the shocking things to me was how much people like when I would do be doing a consultation for someone, a reading, how much power they would place on me and what they perceived, imagined that I saw in their chart. And it really like threw me for a loop. In the beginning I was like, no, no, no, it's not. I don't have it. The chart doesn't have it, you have it. This is just a tool to see you. So. But let me rewind because I, I there's it's come to me like three times. I really want to ask you about this. Um. You just mentioned again your experience in, you know, with celebrities and you spoke earlier about your early experience of being a performer, an artist, a dancer, being on stage, you know, music videos and. Right. And that takes that takes a courage, that takes a well-developed ego. I'll come back to that word in a minute. But a healthy ego to be in, you know, to be on stage, to have people look at you. Right. Um, and to shine in some way. Um, and and yet you also mentioned when you were telling us about you earlier on about how you've you went into the ministry and you've always had this desire to be of service, to help other people, to, I don't know, ease their pain in some way. Um, and, and then you talked about the incongruence that you often saw with some celebrities.

Daniel Aaron:
Right. And it was just an act. But in real life they were, you know, different than what we saw on stage. And super long question again, but I promise it'll make sense in a moment. And I'm so excited to hear what comes for you, whatever it is. Um, I've often and I've had my own experiences with with celebrities, and I've had my own experiences of being on stage or performing in ways and, and I think and as a culture, we've got this like reverence we have for celebrities, right. You know, a celebrity says, oh, I use this product and boom, everybody buys that they don't know anything about. You know, it's ridiculous the way we worship them sometimes. Yeah. And then others sometimes criticize them. Well, they're they're nobody. They're just like me. However, it does seem to me that they have often have an ability. And maybe that's part of what you saw in Steve, too, an ability to get themselves out of the way, their worries, their fears, their self-orientation. So when they're in that moment of on camera or on stage or whatever it is, that there isn't all this other stuff in the way, and I think that's something that you have in different ways that served you as an artist, as a dancer, as a coach. You know, clearly in in putting the book forward that served you, you're like, all right, I'm going to get my fears out of the way. So all that said, you know, ego as a word gets a lot of bashing. Um, and, you know, understandably and for good reason in some ways, because it's a bummer if it runs the show. However, to have a strong enough ego that allows someone to step forward, to be visible, to be in a position where they are seen. Um, sometimes it's really important. So gosh, all that said, what are your thoughts about putting oneself forward and and the ability to get out of the way in order to be present for another one or whatever comes to you? I spoke for three hours there. Sorry.

Judy Thureson:
I love it, I love it. Well, I'm going to backtrack to back to my dancing days and being visible and being on stage and being on MTV and going on tours, and I wish I can tell you it was because I was, you know, emotionally intelligent and mature and I can handle it. But as a young kid, you know, 18 that's all I ever wanted. I thought once, if I ever make it on MTV, I've arrived. I've accomplished, you know, my ultimate dream at that point. And when I got there, I was anorexic, I was bulimic, I was insecure, I thought I was the worst one in the room. I had such low self-esteem issues unworthiness, lack of value, you name it. So I couldn't even enjoy the quote unquote success because I was so much in my head of feeling of I was not enough. And so I would self-sabotage myself. I'd get I was the one that would get so close to the big break. I was almost a Janet Jackson backup dancer back in. You know, back in the day. I made it out of 2500 girls. They made it down to the last 12 and they needed six. And when I was in the last 12, my being already decided, oh, I'm not good enough to make it. So I'm not. I'm sure I'm not going to make it. So what do you think happened?

Daniel Aaron:
Didn't make it.

Judy Thureson:
I didn't make it right. Do you remember the show In Living Color, The Fly Girls? Do you remember that? Yeah, yeah. So I made it down to the last four girls of the Fly Girls. Um, and, you know, I had so many amazing people who believed in me, they could only get me so far. They can help open the door. But if I don't show up and really believe in myself, and if I already shoot myself in the foot and say, oh, I'm probably not going to get it, this is too good to be true. All those thoughts, what do you think happened? Um, so I didn't get it right. And so, man, if I know now, you know what I know now back then, oh my goodness, I I'd be unstoppable. Right? But I think God has a sense of humor there because it's like, no, you know, talk about ego. Your ego would really, really be too big if if you have the wisdom you have now back in your 20s. So I say all that to say that it's just always. A layer, you know, un layering those belief systems that we have about us. That's why I love being a coach, because I've actually experienced it for myself and I've done the work. So I'm so confident that I can really help someone do the work. Right. It's not theory, it's not something from a book or a certification. It's my lived experience of how do you take these layers of of the low self-worth, of the lack of value of oh, I'm not enough and all these things. I mean, to be honest, when I first met Steve, that was only three years ago, I went through a major crisis of, oh my gosh, you know, he's saying all these nice things to me. He's probably just said that to everybody, and he must be lying. And, you know, how can he say all these good things about me? And who am I? And I'm nobody. And like, this is where I was just three years ago. And so I've been having to do this work layer by layer of of because if we don't feel those things about ourselves, it doesn't matter if the ultimate coach is telling you you're awesome.

Judy Thureson:
If you don't think you're awesome. Jesus himself can tell you you're amazing. If you don't feel like you're amazing, it's not. You're not going to be able to receive it. So it's been a work in progress. It's been so much but so fun, right? Because the more layers you peel off, the more you see what's possible, the more you see, like, wow. Like, the more that I dig into who I really am. I actually love myself more. I'm like, oh my gosh, that was in there the whole time. And I'm trying to be like this or like that, or I'm trying to get this validation from somewhere else, when all the while all the power is within, you know, again, sounds a little cliche, but it's so true. The more that I tap into the real me, the more powerful I feel and the more love I have for myself, and the more love I have for myself, the more love I have for others. So I don't know if I answered your question, but we're just kind of going around and around my.

Daniel Aaron:
My secret plan was to introduce 12 things that I find really interesting and important, and just see which ones you go into, because I want to hear from you. And that was beautiful, what you said. Um, and so here's one of the things that that that comes to me, Judy, you you just mentioned self-love, right? And I thought of this, uh, wonderful truism. Oops. There we go. It's celebration, uh, this, um, wonderful truism that you can't take anybody deeper than you've been yourself. Right? 100%. Right. True. In therapy, it's true. True in coaching, it's true. You know, just universally true. And. You know, part of what's brilliant and amazing about you is you have such a high level of authenticity and vulnerability, right? When you shared, like, what your experience was when you were a young dancer, when you shared your experience with Jacob's passing, when you, you know, shared your experience just recently when when Steve was giving you accolades, right. Your ability to. To be open and real and honest and vulnerable, um, is extraordinary. And again, going back to so many of us have this modeling that I have to present this, this polished, you know, I got it all together thing to the world. And otherwise people are going to think I'm an idiot or whatever. Um, how do you do that?

Judy Thureson:
How do I do that?

Daniel Aaron:
How do you. You don't do what I. You have this way of being real and authentic and vulnerable that that's extraordinary. And I don't know, maybe you're the fish in the fishbowl and you don't even realize it. Um, I.

Judy Thureson:
You know, I just feel like it's so normal for me. And actually, I get shocked when people are not. Right. So I, I mean, I it's been kind of a rough week where I've had some people in my life who I thought were in integrity and then realized they weren't. And I still get shocked, you know, I, I'm in, you know, I've been to therapy and I'm not shy about it. Right. And I remember my therapist telling me once, Judy, why, why do you think people are like you? Just because you have high integrity doesn't mean everyone else has that same level of high integrity. And I just couldn't even understand what that meant. I couldn't fathom it. Right? Because like you said, if if, if I'm this way, I just expect people to be vulnerable and open and honest and, and have integrity. So sometimes it gets me into trouble. Um, I feel like I can be a little naive sometimes because I really look at life through that lens of. Why? Why wouldn't someone be honest with me? I'm honest with them. Right. So I don't really have a good answer for you, Daniel. And you're right. I think it is kind of like, I don't really see it because I live it. And my husband tells me all the time he's like, honey, you're not normal. Like, this isn't normal way of being like, what? You're you know, how you show up. Is it normal? And I'm like, really? Because it feels normal to me.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. Well, uh, a friend of mine.

Judy Thureson:
One more thing. One more thing before I forget. I think this way of being for me is what gives me peace, because I don't have to wonder, oh my gosh, what did I say to that person? How did I show up for that person? Let me put on that mask. Let me, you know, be this person and this person. And that's exhausting. I mean, I did that my whole life. And so I think when maybe in my 40s is when that I came into this being comfortable in my own skin, I started practicing yoga. Really got to understand being in my body. Even though I was a dancer, I didn't understand being in my body. Like I said, I've had a lot of of trauma in my life, so most of my life I was very disconnected and disassociated from myself. Um, that was my defense mechanism of protecting myself. And so I think once I started to really peel those layers, I started to, um, really see the value in the peace that it brought me, like peace is that's the new wealth. I mean, you can have all the money in the world, but if you don't have peace, you are poor.

Daniel Aaron:
Hallelujah. That's beautiful. I'm with you. And I'm so holding myself back now because I've got so many questions. Yet we're just about out of time, so it means I need to ask you the final question. The big question. Um, could I do that?

Judy Thureson:
Yes, please.

Daniel Aaron:
Okay, so it's, uh, it's so big it's impossible to answer, which also on the flip side means you can't get it wrong. Um, and it's because you've got so much wisdom and experience and heart. Um, and yet I am asking you to boil all of that down, to distill everything into if you had one thing to say to our audience to help them to create their most vibrant, thriving life, what's the one thing you would share?

Judy Thureson:
Mhm. I would say. That all we have is this present moment. So even with my book and with Jacob's death and everything that I've been through, I don't live in the. Why. Because the why can I? It'll spiral me down to all the questions that should have the could have would have. Right? Um. I live in the what? What can I do today with what I've been given and being present with that and serving with that and loving with that and being that. It's really, um, powerful. Oops. Sorry. I don't know where that's coming from.

Daniel Aaron:
That's all right. All good. That's a I love all difficulties.

Judy Thureson:
Okay.

Daniel Aaron:
I was, um, I was with one of my yoga teachers years ago, um, big room of people. And, uh, it was like one of those silent moment, like, 200 people, silent, silent moment. And in right in the middle of the silence, somebody's cell phone goes off. And the teacher. Brilliant. One of my favorite moments ever, he says. And he he's acting. I didn't know it at the time. He's acting. He says, when are we going to learn? You know? And all of us thought like, yeah, when are we going to learn to turn our cell phone off? And then he paused a good dramatic moment, and then he goes. Cell phone rings. Breathe in. Cell phone rings. Breathe out. Right. And I love your your your. The one thing you had to say there, Judy, because you you spoke about presence and. When you did, you paused and there was a presence that you were being that came through and carried that message. So beautiful, I love it. Thank you. Um, again, for just your vulnerability, your courage, your wisdom, um, that has brought you through so many challenges and adventures and learnings in your life. Um, and thank you for the generosity of continually cultivating that, to bring it forward and be of service to others. And thank you for, uh, investing the time to be with us here on the show today. Thank you so much.

Judy Thureson:
My pleasure. It was so much fun. And thank you for having me.

Daniel Aaron:
It was awesome honor. And for y'all guests. Audience live or by rebroadcast. Remember, take one thing. There were so many. But please take at least one thing, one of these beautiful pieces of wisdom that Judy has brought forward today. And apply it in your life. That's where the rubber meets the road. You have the power. It's your birthright. It's your duty to live a vibrant, extraordinary life. And I'm so grateful to you for being interested in that, for being here with us. That's amazing. Thank you. And please tune in again. And in the meantime, make your life a masterpiece. Hello. Hi, y'all. Mahalo for tuning in to the Art of Vibrant Living show y'all! I'm Daniel Aaron and may you live with great vibrancy.

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