The Art of Vibrant Living Show with Daniel Aaron - Debbie Williamson: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

The Art of Vibrant Living Show with Daniel Aaron - Debbie Williamson: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Daniel Aaron:
They? All right. We're back. Thanks to you all for tuning in or tuning in again. And in case you weren't with us for the first part of the show, I'm Daniel Aaron. And this is the art of vibrant living. We are joined blessedly today by Debbie Williamson, who is an incredible entrepreneur, a great friend, a master teacher. And we we were just starting to talk about, you know, what are the the obstacles or challenges with people being able to express themselves. What are the what's the impact of self-expression, the lack of it or the freedom of it in terms of creating a vibrant life? And and and how do we move beyond it? Let's let me switch gears, though, for a second, Debbie, and ask you, were you always so free and able to express yourself or what's been your relationship with this topic in your life? Because not everybody here is so lucky as me to know you so well yet. Tell us more.

Debbie Williamson:
Oh, I've always been paralyzed. I'm one that, like all through school, grade school, high school. I didn't say a word. My last name started with a B, and I was always in the front row. So the teachers would call on me and I couldn't speak. A lot of people thought I was stuck up. I was shy. I you know, I always took on this lie of like, I'm the shy girl. Nobody wants to hear what I have to say. I don't have anything of value to say. And it was really difficult for me. I think it took me until maybe my 30s before I really started to break free.

Daniel Aaron:
Wow. That. And for y'all that don't know Debbie, I mean, you can feel it now how how self-expressive she is and how comfortable she is on camera. Um, if you haven't seen her teaching though, what she just said, what you would be tempted to say. You're lying. No way. That can't be the truth. Um, and I can relate, of course. And I know from my own experience that shyness or introversion is something that a lot of people that have in a way the most to say or the most to share really struggle with. And so what? Well, what changed it for you, though? How did how did that switch?

Debbie Williamson:
I think the big thing is really understanding what other people, why they say, what they say, how they operate, what they do. I think it was really a way of for me to kind of look at others and get an understanding. You mentioned a story about your your daughter meeting some not so nice people and it was changing the switch instead of going there. Not so nice, maybe asking, why aren't they so nice? You know, maybe what's how can I understand what they're going through? And I think as I started to explore, maybe this is why this person was a little nasty to me or this is why this person was nice to me, really, you know, using other people as a study, it showed me, whoa, maybe this is why I'm shy or think I have nothing of value to say. And it really was the study of people, you know, instead of believing I'm shy is looking at others like, how is this person so outgoing and what are they doing? They're they're fearless. How did they get fearless? And then how is this person trapped? Very similar to me. So I would look at, you know, other people that were in the same situation where I knew they had a lot to say and they were friendly and they were great one on one. But get them in a crowd and they're paralyzed. And I think when I understood, Oh, I see, you know, there may be afraid to make a mistake or, you know, they have these same fears. And I see in them that that's just not true. That's not who they are. And then it was like, oh, whoa, You know, that's the same for me. It's not true. There are because when I speak, people want to hear me speak or they ask me to speak more or why, you know, why are they asking for more of me? Because I do have something of value. And I think sometimes the people who have the greatest fear, they're the ones a switch happen. Like the people who don't want to fight. Those are the people I want to send to war. The people who are afraid to speak and tell us about everything that's going on like those are the people that should be speaking.

Debbie Williamson:
It's the ones that never question or had doubts. I don't know. I sometimes think think our paralysis is because we overthink things. And once we release that, you know, we should. It's it's not like the idea of speaking or I like the idea of being on TV. Like it scares the hell out of me or a Facebook show. But that's the person that we probably want to be on. Not somebody who craves that attention, somebody who's afraid of what they have to share. And maybe that's the person we should hear from. And that kind of switched it for me. You know, can I be the speaker for those that are afraid to speak? Can I take the risk for those that are afraid to take the risk? You know, somebody has to be a trailblazer. Somebody has to break the four minute mile and then 12 people break the four minute mile. You know, somebody's got to step up and have that breakthrough for somebody who is easy. They don't understand the difficulty. And that comes in like teaching yoga. I feel like I've had the hardest time figuring out my body and these yoga poses that I can teach anybody just about anything because I've had to try so many different things.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, absolutely. Hey, you reminded me of one of my favorite lines from serious literature, and it is. I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. And if y'all don't know that, it's from Dr. Seuss high brow literature. And. And it makes so much sense what you said, Debbie. You know, there's the there's that saying that the truth cannot be said. Often the people that are saying so much that we need to be aware of in a way. Um, and to take this a little further, because you've said and I know it's true because I know you, that it scares you to, to go in front of a crowd and, and then you do it so beautifully. And like you said, I've seen it to people like, we want more. They want more, more. Debbie what is it that gets you over the edge, though, in those moments when you're like, I don't want to do it? And then and then you do what? What? How does that happen?

Debbie Williamson:
You know, it goes back. It's kind of a simple story. But my father, he always he wanted a boy. And I was his first born a daughter. So I really got into all the male sports and I was a third basewoman for baseball. And I always said, I'm so afraid the ball is going to, like, knock my teeth out or knock me over. And he said, If you have fear, take a step forward, You know, then you're in charge. You're in control of your life. And I always think of playing third base because I have to stand in front of the base, you know, in front of the base line. And I think every time, I'm afraid, take a step forward, you know, now you're in action. And as soon as you get in action, there's kind of a sense of like, I'm doing it, I'm okay, keep going. And then just the natural like I have all the training, I have all the tools. It's that first step. So I always think as soon as fear comes, take that step forward. And then I'm in it. I'm good.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. Yeah. And that's what you were saying before about action and, you know, moving forward into the fear is such a powerful thing. And something you said earlier reminded me too, of what one of my yoga teachers said to me early in my yoga life, which really pissed me off, you know, which of course is always a sign that there's good truth in it. And she said, shyness is really selfishness. And, you know, and I was I was proud of my shyness. I was like, you know, I thought myself like, I wore it almost like a badge. And and I heard her say that. And I just want to say not, you know. And then, of course, when I thought about it and she explained it more, it's so true because what we do when we're shy is we make our self more important. We make our self the focus. And what you were saying, part of what you did when you were a kid is you started to understand other people and say, Well, what's going on with them and why is that for them? And and I wonder if this is the case for you too, because similar for me, I don't like necessarily being on stage. I'd rather be, you know, with with a friend or at home or alone. And part of what motivates me is I feel like. I don't know. There's something that needs to be said or something that I can offer. I remember when I first, um, at a certain point in my yoga teaching, I saw the power of chanting and I saw people were chanting and playing the harmonium. And. And I'd always been so mortified at my own voice and singing voice. And, you know, as a kid, they told me I was tone deaf. And but I just thought, you know, it's it's such a value to the people in the class. Like, I got to do it anyway. And I remember the first few times that I did it and I'm still a horrible chanter, you know, I'm and I got over that fear by just doing it. And and I'm confident that it brings something to the class and and it's maybe not the beauty of my voice, though maybe in some way part of what we bring is the the vision that it's okay to face your fears and that you will survive when you do. So, Um, does that make sense to you?

Debbie Williamson:
It does. It's, I think, what shines beautifully is the bravery. You know, it's taking that brave chance to do something that is uncomfortable, and that's how we grow. It's like being a beginner again, you know, when we're a beginner or a child, we're fearless and, you know, there's nothing holding us back and our mind creates so much. And then we get a little older and, you know, rather than creating, our mind is telling us all the things that we shouldn't do or can't do. And it's getting back to that creativity. And to use our tool, our bodies, our instrument. The more you use your tool, I think the more you turn on that creativity.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, absolutely. And what would you say then to help us all get and our viewers to get a little more motivation and courage in it? What's the negative impact of not expressing ourselves, of not really being authentic or saying what we feel?

Debbie Williamson:
Well, I think in expression there's so much freedom. And when you don't express, there's that trap of feeling like, I don't have freedom, I don't have choices, I'm stuck. And it's like taking that first step when you start to get into, you know, expressing somehow, you know, even if it's journaling or talking to a stranger, when you get into that, that's where you know that the happiness comes, the joy comes, and then that fuels our passion and we do it more. If we don't do that, we keep retreating and retreating.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, I'm with you. It's the part of the way I think of it is I love the expression the way we do One thing is the way we do everything. And in our emotional life, if we are if we're not allowing anger for ourselves to feel anger or not allowing ourselves to feel fear, then equally, we're not able to feel joy and love. You know, we can't we can't tamp one thing down and fully enjoy another thing and think in a way it's the same with self-expression. If we're if we're not a. Courageous enough to say the things that are difficult. We block the flow of our life and so many other ways. And. There's just such joy and we could see it in kids. There's such joy that radiates from being able to be ourselves and just letting go and shine out. And you know, the funny judge us. We think we're good enough. And, you know, people do that anyway. And who people end up loving the most in the world are the people that are authentically themselves and are just sharing who they are.

Debbie Williamson:
And I think sometimes it's just saying some of the things out loud, like, I'm really feeling sad right now. And then like, you have that moment and then, you know, how do you feel in the next moment? And you know, that sounds simple, but it's so easy to, you know, like always try to be happy. Like people will say you're happy all the time. And I say, no, I'm not. You know, I have moments where I just sit and I feel lonely. I feel sad, but sometimes I say it out loud. And again, that's like putting some energy behind it and going like it's okay. You know, there's a lot of things that are okay. There's a lot of things that aren't okay, and we still have bad feelings, but we have to release it. You know, even even if it becomes like a tantrum, like a child, you know, I love watching kids when they have this outbreak and then when they're done, they're like, okay, you know, where's the ice cream? You know, it's like, what's next? It's like they move through it. And I think that's part of the process is we have to keep moving through. You know, not everything is going to work out okay. But now, okay, what do I have a choice in this moment? You know, is there something I can do? Is there a new way to look at it? What's a first step I can take?

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, I remember when I first started studying writing, I came across a quotation that said, The authentic expression of feeling is instantaneously transformative. You know, the authentic expression of feeling is instantaneously transformative because, like, when we actually say it, then it changes because we've named it and it's like, Oh, okay, that's what that is cool. That's okay. It's, you know, I can have that or not have it. And, you know, a great experiment and I encourage everybody to do this. It's so cool is to actually break free from the normal normal expectations in social situations, ones like where you're at the grocery store or you're on a telephone call and someone says, How are you? And of course, what people expect is to hear, Oh, good, or I'm fine, or I'm getting by. But to actually say something unexpected and to say something real and I've done it before where I say, you know, actually I feel really like dog crap right now. I just feel like shit. And, you know, sometimes people are just like, shocked by that. And so many times, though, people are like, Wow, thank you for being honest. And equally, when I say, you know, I'm feeling amazing, I'm feeling so great right now, people are like, Oh, wow, we get to be honest with this. Yeah, it's it's, um, it's just to me, it's like that that being willing to express ourselves and say what's real is in some ways the essence of vibrant living. It's allowing ourselves to be to be fully alive and.

Debbie Williamson:
Go ahead. I was gonna say, I think it's a great practice, you know, to really like, in those moments, can you just tap into what's really happening now and even to transform that into what you want to create for yourself? Like when I teach yoga teachers in the studio that I used to own, I make them go across the street to the gas station and they'd have to go shake hands with the cashier at the gas station and say, Hey, I'm Debbie. I'm an amazing yoga teacher, And I would have students that would cry and couldn't say it. And then some students that would, you know, go over there and say it and come skipping back across the street to the studio and say, Wow, you know that I said it like I believed it. And it's one of my my mottos that if you want to create the life you're in, you've got to stand in those shoes. Now, today, you can't wait for someday in the future. So if you want to be this amazing yoga teacher or amazing chef or whatever it is, stand in those shoes for a moment and even just say it out loud.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, Yeah. And you know, Debbie, I just saw a question pop up and brings me to an important point. And I'm sure you have something to say about this. You know, in the example that you gave with the yoga students, what happens for people if the person they're saying it to doesn't accept it or rejects them in some way? You know, what's what happens for the person who's stepping into that?

Debbie Williamson:
Well, and you know, to be honest, we've never had a rejection. We've had people go, oh, okay. Or, you know, really, that sounds really cool or just no response. And I think, you know, we have to understand, like a lot of times you're almost talking like a confrontation. And I love Baron Baptiste always says with a confrontation. Confrontation, either it fits, it doesn't fit. You say thank you or there's no response. And I love that tool of like, if you say something and somebody confronts you, you can say, Yeah, that fits, you know? And then maybe you apologize or you're confirming that, yes, I was out of place or it doesn't fit and I don't have to carry any, any hard feelings over it or thank you. Like I wasn't aware. And thank you. Now I'm aware in this confrontation or no response is needed. And I think when you have those tools, it's a little easier to navigate. Like if somebody does, you know, if they reject that, I'm not sent back into, Oh, I suck. I'm not a good teacher. I'll never be a good teacher. It's more of, huh, Well, it doesn't fit. Or, you know, thank you for expressing what you feel.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. And. And I'm with you. And I'll take it a step further and say I have actually learned to appreciate it when someone, quote unquote, rejects me because they're not rejecting me. They're saying, you know, I'm into something else. And what I want is, you know, on this show and in my trainings and the people I work with, I want to I want to be myself and share from my heart and give everything I can. And I want it to reach the people for whom that's cool. They want it and it's useful to them. And if it's not for someone else, perfect. That's great. You know, there's got to be another teacher, another thousand teachers or friends that are workable for them. But the worst would be is if I try and pretend I'm somebody else and hopes that somebody will like me. Because if they do like me, they're not liking me. They're liking the thing I was pretending to be. So we're both all twisted into some kind of crazy knot. So it's just so much better. And it works in dating too, you know, to just, like. Like, Hey, this. This is who I am. And if you love it and if you don't, awesome. There are, you know, I forget a whole bunch of people on the planet right now. Um, hey, let me pause for a second. I'll pause and say a word about longevity. Drops and Longevity Drops is a formula created by David Wolfe, and it's got some incredible powerful herbs in it, including chaga, substantia and, you know, herbal medicine. Sorry, I've been living overseas. Herbal medicine for those in America is really about getting to our own essence and part of what I love about it Yeah that you're seeing it come up on the screen now, the Horseshoe Woo and some, you know, some of the most powerful herbs when we take them in this really pure formula. And I love that they did it in such a pure way with no alcohol and a really high quality coconut glycerin. What it does is help us remember who we are. It brings us back in touch with our essence and gives us even more vitality to to be true, to be courageous, to live how we want to be.

Daniel Aaron:
It's you know, when I first met David, it was 20 something years ago, and I started working with him because I trusted him because I knew he was someone who really had done the research and and everything that he talked about and shared his stuff that he was doing himself. And, you know, and I guess that brings me around in a way to back to our topic, which is, um, think use for yoga teachers or teachers or anybody that just to share more of themself is to, to, to be real with ourselves, to share what's true. Like, you know, I talk about challenging yourself on the yoga mat say and I can only do that, of course, because that's what I do in my own life and that's how I operate in myself and is there anything you could say, Debbie, about authenticity as a teacher, as a speaker, as a coach and and doing our own work and being real in that way, Yeah.

Debbie Williamson:
I think people always want to know, like, how do you do it? Well, that's for me. And my way of doing it is when you tap into what's your unique talent and your way of doing it, you know, run your business the way you want to run your business, teach your yoga class the way you want to teach your class. You know, don't teach Debbie's class. Don't run your business the way Debbie does is, you know, you figure out your style and what works for you, and that's going to be beautiful. People will see that. That's what makes you happy. That's what brings the vibrancy. That's what creates all of this energy. When you do it your way, you know, not the way you should or you could, but how do you want to do it?

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, so, you know, you are an amazing yoga teacher, and I want to share a little bit about what we're up to in May at Omega in a minute. But tell us, because you're on a whole new adventure in the chocolate world. What's going on there?

Debbie Williamson:
Well, I've always played with like raw foods and raw chocolate. And I wanted to open a new business moving to Hawaii. And I thought, you know, maybe it's a yoga studio because it's something that I'm good at. And I thought, well, what's different, though? What could I do? That's you unique and can still utilize my talents. And I actually thought about, well, you know, maybe a laundromat. We really need one here. And, you know, I'm a good businesswoman and everybody needs fresh, clean clothes. And I could do something like even for the homeless. And and I researched that. And then I wanted to look at, like, what will help Hawaii? You know, I want to I want to help where I live. And looking at the crop of cacao or chocolate, I thought, you know, that's something that seems to have some energy and is growing. And I love chocolate and I love making chocolate, as you know. I know you do, too. And I thought, well, what about a chocolate business? You know, could I be successful running a chocolate business? And I thought, well, yeah, I could be successful at anything. You know, there's no limits. There's nothing that will stand in my way. So I decided to design a kitchen design, you know, an education program because I'm good at educating, but also make great chocolate. So I opened Wild Hawaii Chocolate with my yoga business partner, Kelly Lynn. And it's successful. And it's because we have that attitude that we're in it for the long haul. We will make it work and we're going to do it our way. And it's working.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah, right on. Yeah. I remember reading years ago in Jim Collins business book. Good to great. And he said the measure for whether to take on a project or open a business is it has to answer three questions. And the first question is, is it going to be a contribution to the world? And you just talked about that. Is it going to do some good? Is it going to uplift the world in some way? The second is, is it going to be fun? Is it going to be fun? You know, am I going to enjoy it? Am I passionate about it? And the third one is, can I be the best in the world at it? And and, you know, and we don't have to take that quite literally. You know, you don't have to be the best chocolate maker in the world, though. I think you've shown us really well that maybe you are or maybe you have created wild kawaii chocolate to be something that has never existed. And, you know, I've been well, we've both been in the yoga world for a long time. And for me, with yoga teacher training and I'm in this cool place. You're joining me of coming back to the US and offering my next training at Omega Institute in May. And and I was recently playing around with it again saying, All right, well, I'm in a whole new chapter of my life. And do I do I still want to teach yoga? Do I still lead yoga teacher trainings? And and I realized, you know, just naturally applied those same questions and thought, yeah, I do, because we have the ability to create something that has never been before. And I remember it was, I don't know, maybe six months ago or something, you and I were talking about it and saying, hey, you know, yoga is still growing. It's still getting bigger. Everybody knows what yoga is. And most people think of yoga as a as a fitness thing and yoga teachers as somebody who helps me to get healthier and yoga as something I should do. So, you know, I'm so grateful for you being involved in the training we're doing at Omega, in part because we have this great opportunity to not only help people become great yoga teachers, really skilled as leaders in expressing themselves.

Daniel Aaron:
So to to really be well, in Gandhi's words, to be the change that they want. To see and and part of how I love creating it and why there's not any other trainings like this is that we get to play with people like you and, you know, incredible faculty. And most teacher trainings these days are people that have been teaching for a year or 2 or 3, and it's oftentimes one teacher the whole way, you know, and because we're at Omega, we get to bring Pema Chodron to be part of it. We get to have musicians just today mantra decided he's going to join us. And so, you know, for any of you all that are watching and considering and thinking about it, it's only would work for you or fit for you. If you are interested in yoga, interested in yourself, if you're courageous, it doesn't matter if you have any experience. Really. What matters is that whether you want to teach or not, that you want to dive into, really find out who you are and be able to express yourself in the fullest ways possible and thrive in a vibrant life and thriving in a vibrant life. Self-expression. I suspect our time is going to wrap up soon, Debbie, after we've had a couple of Facebook kerfuffles today. What else do you feel like is would be most useful or important for people to know about? Tapping into the tools and really feeling free and confident to express themselves? I think, you know.

Debbie Williamson:
To know that the tools are within you. So do some things that are simple. You know, like we said, you know, maybe it's journal, maybe it's, you know, some of your posts on Facebook. You know, I know when I used to post, I would be so afraid to hit like, you know, post like get yourself out there more practicing, have the conversations at the grocery store, introduce yourself to a new friend. It doesn't have to be anything like grand. It can be that that the simplest thing of, you know, say hi to the person sitting next to you on the bus. It all starts with those tiny, tiny little, you know, first steps, those things that maybe are paralyzing or maybe not. Maybe you love talking to people, but now, you know, talk in a way that it comes from really deep down, you know, something that you've got to dig a little bit for, not just something on the surface.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. I'm totally with you. Sometimes it's the pebbles that lead us to the boulders. Just those little pieces. And what's also really useful with that is tap into when you face even a little fear, you know, whether that's walking up to someone you're attracted to or or hitting post on the Facebook. Thing. I want to go out with you. Or they look at you like you're crazy or they worship you for being so free. Whatever happens in them, notice what happens inside yourself in that moment when you step up to your fear, when you, you know, as you said, as you take a step closer into the fear. Because I guarantee you, invariably what will happen is there will be a bubble, an emergence of energy in you. Your vitality will increase and you will be more alive. And from that you will know that you are infinite. You will know that you can do more. And every time we do that, each each little one, we get stronger, we get more courageous, we actually build the confidence that, you know what, I can do this. I can do anything.

Debbie Williamson:
Right on.

Daniel Aaron:
Right on. All right, cool. Well, you know what I'm thinking? Probably this is this is about enough for us right now. It's been a wild kawaii chocolate sort of Facebook ride today. People will be able to find you. Well, most important question, Debbie, do we have to go to kawaii to get the chocolate?

Debbie Williamson:
Well, right now we're not shipping. But when I do come to Omega in May, I'm bringing loads of chocolate and can ship from there. So I will bring a lot and we're working on that. But you can you can check us out at wild Kawaii chocolate.com. And if you really are desperate for the chocolate you know tell me that I maybe can make things happen for you.

Daniel Aaron:
Debbie is definitely a woman who can make things happen for you. By the way, Debbie will also be with us on the Vibrant Life Activation, which is the four day immersive, amazing, transformational ride that is the start of the teacher training in May, and that's May 2nd through six. And once again, I say thank you to Longevity Drops for sponsoring us, for giving us this opportunity to get together. Thanks to Tom for operating and running it for us and getting it all going. And Debbie, thanks to you for joining, for taking time out of your chocolate day. And and, you know, and even more than than that, for having already worked so hard to overcome your own shyness and challenges so that you are a luminary with something to offer for for living that in the world.

Debbie Williamson:
Oh, thank you, Daniel. It's my pleasure to be Yeah Thank you so much.

Daniel Aaron:
Right on. And and to you all who are watching, the big thanks goes to you because you're tuned in, you're tapped in and and you're doing something about it. And I would love to hear from you, by the way, if if you take on one of these pieces of information and you apply them, you put it into action. Let us know what's your success is what happens. And if I can be of service to you, it would be my honor. So, y'all, thanks so much for tuning in. I'm Daniel Aaron. This was and always shall be, the art of vibrant living. See you later.

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