Special Guest Expert - Dave Orton: Video automatically transcribed by Sonix

Special Guest Expert - Dave Orton: this mp4 video file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.

Daniel Aaron:
What does it take to create a vibrant, thriving life? First, the sad news is that Thoreau was right. Most people are leading quiet lives of desperation, lacking in meaning, fulfillment, and vitality. But we choose more. We choose to create extraordinary lives and the art of vibrant living. Show entertains you with inspiration, empowerment and education to create your life into a masterpiece. It's time. Let's vibe up. Hello, hello. Hello, y'all. Welcome to the show. I'm so glad you are here. I'm Daniel Aaron. I am your host. And this is the Art of Vibrant Living show. And as the title would imply, not so subtly, I might add. This is all about empowering you with information, with inspiration to create and live your most vibrant, thriving life. And I heard myself in my own intro there just a moment ago, talking about meaning and purpose and so important and valuable that and our guests today. It's going to be an amazing show. He's really, I think, one of the the best people to to share experience in, because that's part of what he does in the world, is help people to live lives of meaning and purpose. And we will do our best to have some fun and give you some really beautiful nuggets. It's up to you, though, to take something you learn at least one thing that inspires you, that flips a switch on for you and apply it in your life. And if you ever want further help with that, feel free to reach out to me and specifically on today's show, we have a great guest who can also be of great assistance, so we'll get to that in a bit to how you can reach him. Him being Dave Orton and Dave is really an extraordinary man and coach with a background in business with a lot of world travel, a father of four, two at home, two out in the world. He's made the switch, I think, about ten years ago into the realm of coaching. And as you know, this is one of the most beautiful and important professions on the planet. Not that I have any bias since I'm a coach, but I'll tell you, it's such a powerful, beautiful work and Dave's really one of the luminaries in that world. So super lucky to have him grateful that he is with us today. Dave Orton, welcome to the show.

Dave Orton:
Thank you. Thank you.

Daniel Aaron:
Exactly characteristic victory. There we go. He's on the show with us.

Dave Orton:
I love it. Thank you for having me Daniel. This is this is such a pleasure to be here with you.

Daniel Aaron:
Awesome. Thank you. Well, likewise. And so I have the slight advantage of knowing you a little bit, slight advantage over our audience and knowing some of what's extraordinary about you, though. Would you be up for sharing a little bit of who you are? You know what? What brought you to this point? You know, you've clearly developed yourself a lot. And I often say with with coaching, you know, great to study, great to have certifications. But the real the real certification is what you've developed in yourself, what you've overcome in yourself, how you have transformed yourself. And you know, what I know about you is you've done you've done a lot of that. So would you share a little bit of your journey just to give the audience an idea?

Dave Orton:
You bet, you bet. Thank you. Um, so the journey of self-development with me began when my mother handed me a book when I was quite young called How to Win Friends and Influence People. Uh, I was not a great communicator when I was young, and so she gave me that book and it changed my world, helped me discover interest in other people. And I have fell in love with people back very early. And and I also knew that I enjoyed the the spotlight I enjoyed being in. I enjoyed having attention. I really I do love the sound of my own voice too. So there's that going for me, which may not help in the in the realm of being with others, but I from there I moved into, um, the seven Habits of Highly Effective People, the Covey, uh, sort of planning and leadership world. And from there I did some things with, um, I did a set of cassette tapes that I borrowed from my dad, released The Giant Within from Tony Robbins back in about 1997, I think, and have, you know, did work with a guy that was on The Secret that I mentioned earlier, a gentleman by the name of James James Ray. And until he was, until his company kind of went down the drain. Uh, and then I paused for a bit until I came across this thing called The Best Defensive Lineman in the NFL, which was my first introduction to Steve Hardison. And I was so moved by that. When I saw it. That I immediately emailed him was like my fingers did it on their own. I was like, do I want to do this? Yes, we're going to do this. And and Steve sent me back immediately, like within five minutes, this nice little email saying, you know, keep going, you're doing great. And then about five minutes after that, he sent me a message saying, here's my phone number. Call me. So I called him. Shocked to call him. Shocked to talk with him. And that conversation. Was life changing. Change the vector the direction of my life. He invited me to come and be have a be with session next time.

Dave Orton:
I was in Phenix and and at that point he when I when I showed up. So I had the same religious background as Steve. So because of that I showed up thinking, showed up in a way that I thought a important Mormon guy would want me to show up. And he quickly informed me that that that was relative. That was quite an authentic. His exact words were, Dave, you're the most pretentious SOB I've ever seen in my life. Uh, but the way he said it blew my socks off, it wasn't like saying you're a freaking idiot because you are so fake. He was smiling, laughing, and saying, I love you. Now drop the act and let's have a real conversation. And that conversation. Um, I'm so grateful for that conversation because it it set me on a completely beautiful path of aliveness. The last thing he said to me was, get yourself into the Landmark forum as quickly as you can. There was a little bit of editing there. Um, but I went and did that, the Landmark Forum and, and worked with landmark as a, as an introduction leader with landmark for seven years. Uh, and that was when I started coaching, actually, was was coaching for fun and for the joy of seeing people's lives expand. And my first client was my cousin, you know, for free and for fun. Uh, and that was that was ten years ago. Um, I continued my job in technology until 2016, when I was let go from that, and I had no idea that I was. So that I had my identity so conflated with my job description at that point, when that was gone, and I couldn't immediately replace that job of of being a site manager with a tech company. I went into a pretty deep experience of clinical depression, and I tried to serve my way out. I tried to eat my way out. I tried to work out my way out. I tried to pray my way out. I tried to worship my way out. I tried to do all these things to get out of depression. Um, and we became dependent on on family, church and government to subsist.

Dave Orton:
Um, my dear sister, she sponsored a chocolate chip cookie agreement with Steve for me. And I went to Steve and I'm like, Steve. I am depressed as can be. Can you please wave a magic wand and just make it all better? And he said something to the tune of you can count on that. We will not be doing that. And we didn't. I remained depressed the entire time I was working with Steve. But what we did do. Was. Steve helped me to discover. The divine greatness in me. Depressed or not. And help me discover self-love. Not not self-conceit. Not arrogance, but genuine divine love of self. Which I discovered. I didn't know this at the time. I can only love others as deeply as I love myself. I can only love God as deeply as I love myself. I can only love my wife as deeply or as authentically as I love myself. And whether that's a teaspoon or a gallon or an ocean of love, that magnitude is limited to how much love I have for me. And I love me. And I'm not trying to say that I'm any better than anyone else, but man, I am this. This year. I've had these three statements and I think you may have heard me talk about them, Daniel, and some of the other calls we've been on, but there's nothing I could do that would make me unworthy of the love of God. There's nothing I could do that would make me unworthy of loving me. And as a possibility, there's nothing anyone else could do that would make them unworthy of my love. And that third one is that way, because. Sometimes it's hard for me to love Vladimir Putin. You know, sometimes it's hard for me to love the situations that are happening on for anyone that's suffering in, in, in war torn areas of the world, Ukraine or, or Israel or the places in Africa that we're not really hearing all that much about, you know, um. And it's. But but the the love of self has been. That opened up an entire world for me. Daniel mean and I when I say I love you and I can say that to people and mean it from the depth of my soul.

Dave Orton:
What I mean is that it's kind of like the Namaste statement. The divine in me, the divine spark in me acknowledges, sees, appreciates, and loves. The divine spark and potential over there in you. And so it's from that perspective. It's totally authentic. You know, some people say, well, you don't know me, therefore you can't love me. And okay, whatever. That's your choice. And I love you, you know. So that's been my path through self-development. Um, I as far as certifications go, I did get certified as an NLP practitioner a few years ago. That's been fun. I've, you know, been trained in a bunch of different modalities, although I, I, um, yeah, I'm not a certified coach because I find, you know, that that doesn't really do anything. If you go online and get a $7 coach certification, good for you. That's not going to help anyone. So I. Yeah, I'm very much invested in the difference that I can make with people. That's where the value is of, of of my life. And I've dedicated my life to the. Um, well, I have a statement in my Constitution, my document, if you will, which is that I am a divine warrior for that everyone elevates their beingness. Now, that's another way of saying that, is that everyone elevates their consciousness or their their self with a capital S. But that's that's who I am in the world. And and some days are better than others. Like, I had a cold. I felt pretty crappy last night. I couldn't sleep, so I went downstairs and sat in a chair and took some medicine and turned on Gaia. The. I don't know if you're familiar with that, that network and listened to listen to body hacks from a doctor that I like to listen to. Doctor Ashbury, I think is his name. But you know, and so I'm I'm dreaming. I'm in and out of dreaming. And I'm talking with this, listening to this guy talk about all these ways to uplevel your physicality and just a beautiful thing. So I'm here, I'm present, and I'm I'm loving you, Daniel, for the difference you make in the world, and particularly in the difference you make in the in the ultimate coach Facebook group and, and the being movement.

Dave Orton:
So thank you. And it's great to be here. And that's a lot of talking. Anything you would love to to ask or say or anything like that.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah yeah yeah. Well that's that's great. Thank you for sharing all of that. There were some I think some important points in there. So I will pause a little bit to echo some of what you said. I got a couple questions for you, and I want to clarify a couple of things for the audience. So to make sure that they're understanding some of what we're talking about, in case it's not familiar. Firstly, though, I love your the beginning of your experience, your mom giving you the Dale Carnegie book, right? And your chuckle around Yeah wasn't the best communicator and I can relate to that. I remember, I mean, I was I was not that young. I was in my 30s and I learned about Asperger syndrome, and I was like, whoa, that could be me, man. I've got a lot of like, I have some really basic social skills that are lacking. And and, you know, I wasn't quite to the level of dysfunction that we think of as on the spectrum. However, I assiduously avoided that book. Right, How to Win Friends and Influence People because I had this preconception, oh, well, that's just selfish manipulation, right? And I love what you said. What you got from that book was it taught you how to have another level of interest in other people. Right. And to me, and I eventually did read that book and I was like, oh my God, how did I not read this before? And it's just so the opposite of what my preconception was. So I rank it up there with some of the most beautiful spiritual books in the world, because it really teaches us about it's about the other person. And, you know, if you break it down on a high spiritual level, well, there is no other person. That's us anyway. So, you know, of course you want to have an interest in them. So I love that that was a big part of your journey. And and the book also, that was an early one for me. And I struggled with that one because I thought, oh, this is another, you know, book about manipulation and getting ahead in the world.

Daniel Aaron:
And, you know, I was kind of anti anti the man at that point in my life. And and again it blew me away. I'm like, that's so not what I thought it was. Um so thank you for that. And then let's rewind a minute because you spoke about well definitely want to come back to your experience of. Recognizing how much your identity was connected to that previous job and the experience. And I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability and sharing that. And I think there's some some really valuable gems there that we can uncover, because you and I are not the only people in the world that have had those kind of fall downs, right? So everybody can relate to that, whether it's from a job or something else. And let's go back to Steve Hardison. You mentioned and in case people are not aware of who Steve Hardison is, because he's not been someone that's put himself out into the limelight very much. He's referred to by others as the ultimate coach. And he's. Yeah. And there's the book written by his wife, Amy, that he didn't want to happen but eventually allowed to happen. And thank goodness, because it's changed so many people's lives. And it's a really phenomenal expression of who he created himself to be in the world. And and I love what you said about your first meeting with him. And this is such, I think, a mind blowing paradox for so many of us that somebody can deliver some information that would feel normally or we would think would be hurtful, crushing, you know, insulting, and yet bring it with some level of love and acceptance. Right. Like I go back to the amazing story of Ram Dass, right? One of my great spiritual teachers, you know, and he he the moment when he saw his guru. That he saw his guru was able to see inside him, including his judgment of the guru, and what was there for him was pure love. That was like that was that blue Romney. Then Richard Alpert blew his mind. Right. And so it's really it is extraordinary when beings can see and reflect even the parts of ourselves that we might judge and yet do it with love.

Daniel Aaron:
So actually, before we go on, I'd love if you would share. If you're up for it a little bit more about what happened for you in that moment when, when, when he shared that and you gave the exact quotation right again, would be hard for a lot of people, yet it didn't. It didn't come across that way to you somehow. Is that right?

Dave Orton:
Yeah. It it it didn't come across for me like an attack. It occurred to me as I wasn't sure what it was. Right in that moment, I was like. Something shifted. It was like I wasn't sure where the foundation of my. Pete were, you know, because I'm like, oh, okay. I'm not sure where we go from here. And. And what what the experience was. Was very much in the realm of discovery, you know, at that that was right before he took me into his office and we talked and and he, you know, he shared with me the sacredness of his office. He shared with me the and built a listening over here with me, like how I related to being in the office with him and, um. You know, I've been back to visit him from time to time. I was in the office when, you know, when after that be with session. I was in the office for the chocolate chip cookie agreement, the ten hour agreement that I had with him. But I've never stepped back in the office. I've been outside the office. But that the office is. It's like his Fortress of Solitude that occasionally he lets people come into. Like it's a sacred place because of what happens there, you know? And so I stepped into that. With this. You know, it's like the rug had been pulled out from under me of this projection of who I thought I was. And and we got right into. You know, the complaints I had about life and and the ways that I had related to, to people and things and the, the, the stories that I had lived into as though they were reality. Bless you. And and it turned out that. I. I discovered. That what I had, what had happened to me in life and what I had made it mean. I'd conflated those two things, and I was relating to my story as reality, not as a story about reality, which, you know, was evident from the way I showed up there. I mean, inauthenticity from a certain perspective is an unwillingness to tell the truth about what really happened. You know, it's it's it's a projecting what you think should have happened or the story that I had about what happened or showing up committed to that. This version of things is really what happened as opposed to being with. The reality of of just what? What was so. Yeah, not sure how clear that was, but that's that's about as far as I can go with that particular question, Daniel.

Daniel Aaron:
Well, that that's great. And and I'm with you. And you also mentioned how Steve strongly encouraged you to get into Landmark Education. And you took that suggestion and you went into it. And I also had a good part of my upbringing, so to speak, in landmark. And they were really in that system. They're masters at teaching the distinction that you just spoke about, which is, hey, there's what happened, and then there's the story we tell about it. And of course, there's lots of ways that we can come to that realization in learning. And it is when those get conflated that we start to live through all these filters, and we're not seeing reality. We're seeing our own, our own stories often, which don't serve us. So I think part of what you describe is that that experience with Steve was really like a moment of starting to separate that for you in a way that that touched you deeply. Does that sound fair?

Dave Orton:
Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely fair. Yeah. Well said.

Daniel Aaron:
And, you know, and I think there's something else that's really key to point out here, which is the world of coaching I think is still largely misunderstood. It's still in many ways a new field. And for me, I can say genuinely, I've been working as a coach for almost 30 years. However, the first 20 years of doing that, I would not call myself a coach because I had judgments about coaching, you know, and I heard, you know, people calling themselves life coaches. And I looked at their their life and their modeling. And I was like, well, that's not the coaching I want, right? So but then for me, what changed was when I met Tony Robbins and I saw the way he worked with people one on one in a group, and the profound difference that he made in people's lives. And I was like, oh, so that's what coaching is about, or that's what's possible with it. And then as I've met Steve in the ways that I've met him, Steve Hardison, and seeing the difference that he makes in people, it's it's it's amazing, it's phenomenal. And it is really, you know, on a par or maybe beyond the value of, of the highest professions that we can imagine, like what are the professions that what did what did my mother want for me to be, you know, a doctor or a lawyer? You know, either one of those would have been okay. You could be anything you want as long as it's a doctor or a lawyer. Um, but really, now I look at it, I'm like, wow, mom, I wish you could see now. And I guess, you know, wherever she is, she can see that that what we do as coaches, you know, is as valuable or maybe more valuable. So I'm curious, this is a long lead in to a question to you, because you had such a profound experience as a recipient of coaching from Steve Hardison or as a co-creator in that process is probably more honest. And I know you've made a profound difference in so many people's lives through the coaching work you do, and I'm with you. That's what counts. It doesn't matter if you've got a certification. What matters is can you actually help people? Can you help them to change their lives? So what would you say like, because it's still a little bit baffling, even for me. I think for a lot of people. How does that happen? And just having a conversation with someone, just talking, yet their life can change. Miracles can happen. What gives? How does that work?

Dave Orton:
Boy, that is the that's the million dollar question, isn't it? And. The words kind of fail us here, like the term life coach. When I hear that, I think of somebody that took a $7 certification and put out a, you know, put on a webinar or went through something that turned out to be almost like a multi-level coaching sort of a deal, and it doesn't inspire, you know, what does inspire are the stories that I have from people that I've worked with and myself. You know, so I don't know how you put a value on peace of mind. I don't know how you put a value on freedom from trauma. I don't know how you put a value on living life and being excited to get up in the morning. I not sure what value you put on loving and and being discovering newly every day your relationship with your family member or your daughter, or your son or your spouse or your parents when you knew that they were a certain way. And all of a sudden, after a few conversations, you discover that this story you had about them has nothing to do with them and everything to do with the projection and the things that you made up about them over here with you. You know, to be free of of. Of judgment about, or condemnation about somebody who believes or sees differently from you. Now, some of the people that I've worked with, they're their children are have come out as as gay or lesbian or LGBTQ whatever. Right. And my, my daughter, my daughter did that and, and is that and she's married to her wife and we love them. You know, we were able to throw their wedding for them. And it took something because that was not what I came from. I'm so grateful for the work I did such that when, you know, my daughter received a letter from a loving grandparent that didn't feel very loving to her, we were able to. She brought it to me. She's like, dad, what am I supposed to do with this? And. And what came was. Sweetie, the way to look at this is your grandparent is expressing their love to you in the language that is available to them.

Dave Orton:
And she got that. So there was no rift in it, you know, there was no 20 year few in their relationship. And what a blessing, you know? And so for people to have the experience of discovering the humanity and, and the value of others, the love of others, not the knowing already who they are and putting them in a box and then everything that they say sounds like Charlie Brown. Wa wa wa wa wa wa. You know, to be able to listen newly to a person. Is an. It's a beautiful gift. You know, to be able to let go of trauma that, you know, this is really strange. A lot of people that have come to me in the last, um, that I've worked with in the last several years have had, you know, difficult sexual trauma. You know, and to be able to have them be at peace. And to be able to forgive themselves and others for that situations that happened that they were not at fault in any way, shape or form, but to have peace of those self judgments and to fall in love with themselves and to be able to forgive the perpetrator, or as I call them, the perpetrator that that had, you know, generally speaking, hurt people, hurt people. So to have grace for that which is unforgivable. Is a tremendous gift. And it's not like it's me, Daniel. That's the thing. You know, my method is. I connect with the divine, I connect with this person who's I'm working with. And we do what what spirit says to do. We go where it says to go. It's not predictable. I don't have a method that I walk people through now, I have distinctions. Thank goodness for landmark and all the other distinctions and methodologies that I have. Nlp, you name it, you know, psychic tapping. I'll use them all when they're appropriate. And and sometimes we don't use any of them. Sometimes it's we just feel what's there. We feel this person up with love. We help them discover their own value and sit in this place until they are. From the tip of their head to the bottom of their feet.

Dave Orton:
Loving themselves. And then we can feel whatever needs to be felt. To release whatever emotional baggage or whatever emotional blocks they have. They've experienced. And some of them are. Some of them scare the crap out of me. I mean, I you know, I thought I had a rough life, boy, I have had a fantastic and easy journey, comparatively speaking, to some of the people that I've worked with. So yeah, again, kind of a long answer to a short question, but there you go. Oh you're muted Daniel.

Daniel Aaron:
Thank you. Yes, I love what you said is a perfect response. And and I'm with you. There's. You know, as much as I love what happens in coaching when I'm a recipient and when I'm working as a coach, and because I'm, I'm intellectually curious also and always wanting to improve. So part of me is monitoring and examining and saying, how does that work? You know, how do these miracles happen? And part of it, you really, I think, clearly pointed to is we can't know because it's it's from the great mystery. It's coming, it's spirit doing the work. And you pointed to another part, which is part of it is the work you've done to learn to love yourself. Right. And you spoke about that earlier in a really beautiful way. And as we come to love ourselves more and more, then we are automatically loving other people also. And so there's another ingredient in this coaching dynamic, which is it is love that comes through. And another ingredient you brought forward is there are distinctions. And I have a program that I run, a multi day event a little bit like Landmark Forum. And part of the way I define it is it's the missing owner's manual. It's certainly the one I didn't get when I was a kid, you know, and my parents, bless them, they were doing the best they can, but they had ways of thinking about and seeing the world that just created pain, right? It just created suffering, not their fault. It's what they learned from before. It's what they saw. They were just doing the best they could. But it really is the case that certain thoughts and thought patterns lead to pain. You're about to say something, I think. Is that true? No, I'm just listening.

Dave Orton:
Please go ahead.

Daniel Aaron:
All right, all right. So thank goodness for the beautiful mystery that this individual path of coaching is, and that we get to be the recipients of and the practitioners of stuff that really makes a profound difference in people's lives. And I'm with you. It's hard to quantify sometimes what the impact is and what the benefits are. Let's let's rewind for a minute, though, because if you're willing, I'd love to for you to share more with with our audience about this time in your life where you know, you've been cruising along, cruising along, and you've built up a certain amount of identity. As I understood it, from what you said before, in terms of who you were based on this role or this job, and maybe, I don't know, I'm wondering, I could imagine if I were in your shoes and I've been in similar shoes before, that there's a factor of like my income can also define something of my my confidence or my identity. And, you know, and you said you lost a lot of those pieces for a time. And I love what you said. You tried to pray your way out. You tried to work out your way out. You know, you tried to get out. And Steve said to you, well, you can count on the fact that I'm not going to wave a magic wand and get you out, right? That's not what a coach does. I'm with you. We're not, like, over here, you know, doing something to people. However, the experience you had with him was impactful. So would you say more about, you know, what that journey was for you, what it meant and how you shifted?

Dave Orton:
Yeah, yeah. So the beauty of this situation was and the reason I'm so grateful for having gone through that is that it gave me compassion, deep compassion for people who are going through mental health issues or who have them, you know, and addiction. I've experienced that, you know, uh, didn't mention trying to, you know, act out my way out of depression, but that definitely happened, right? Um. To all these things. Came together for my good. You know, they gave me experience that I didn't know I needed to be able to relate to people in a way that was loving and non-judgmental and non condemnation, like, don't condemn people now. So far as I can tell, we all judge people, right? My statement is I don't condemn. I can't help but evaluate people based on what I'm seeing and noticing. But I have a choice about whether I condemn them and this experience of of of loss of identity. And it wasn't just it was well perceived, by the way. Well, well discerned. It was a lot about how much I was making, you know, it was a lot that I was a international businessman who, who, you know, and I still take great joy, like, I love I've been to China 13 times. I've been to, you know, gosh, now 22 countries around the world. And I love it, I love traveling. I grew up in a very small town in rural Idaho that's not so small. Now. There's a university there that my daughter is about to graduate from. And my son in law and my parents still live there, but I thought I was in the middle of nowhere, and that was the reality that was living into. I couldn't see all the people that were coming to this in those days, college, that I had the opportunity to interact with people from all over the world. It was totally blind. I was like, I'm in a small farming town in Idaho. There's nothing here. And life is boring and and very dull and dark, you know? But that's that became the reality. I was living from during the depression years. Also, there's something about Western culture and culture in general where if I am not providing for my family, what value do I as a man have?

Dave Orton:
Now, I didn't know. I didn't know. How deeply I had bought into that identity until, for the first time in my life, I was asking for help from church, government and family. For, you know, the basics. And. And it was. I was so ashamed. You know, I was perfectly happy to give. But to receive. What are you, nuts? My job is to. To create and give. My job is not to receive. And that is another beautiful thing that I got from that experience. I learned how to receive. To a certain extent. And, you know, there's this. There's this giving and receiving. It's a dance. If we cannot, if we can only give and can never receive, we're stuck. I was stuck. It was painful as all get out to learn to be willing to receive because I had no other choice, right? And what a great divine setup for somebody who wants to help people learn how to receive, and how to love themselves, and how to love others. So that giving up that identity and had to grieve for it. Strange thing to grieve for. My job. To grieve for what? Who I thought I was, you know, one of the books that I love is this book, Beautiful Tragedy by Judy Thorson, talking about when the loss of her son, um, Jacob, who's also known as his artist name, was hella sketchy. But as I read that book, I'm like, this is these are the steps of grief that I went through for my identity as it died and went away. And I had to create myself newly. And, you know, like I said, even after working with Steve, I created this this first iteration of my document with him, and it was beautiful. And it took me, I had to get find a job, you know, I was coaching, but I wasn't coaching full time during that time. And who would want a coach who's depressed and can't seem couldn't drag themselves out of bed for a couple months? You know, that's not all that inspiring of a life. Talk about a life coach. Yeah, sign me up for some of that.

Dave Orton:
Are you kidding me? No way. But, you know, I had clients that had. I had helped enough that they stuck with me. It was beautiful. I'm so grateful for them. But it took me six months after getting a job, you know, a 9 to 5, 7 to 4 or whatever. It was job before I finally came out of this automatic. Heavy. Cloud that that I call depression. You know, that that was my personal experience of it. Um, and, and I relate to. Myself now, as a receiver and a giver, I give and I receive and I'm willing to receive. Sometimes I forget that. By the way, here's a pro tip whenever you go to. Whenever you see Steve Hardison and he offers you something, say yes. Say thank you, please. Thank you. You know this. This is the proper terminology. Receive what what what he here the universe is willing to give you and wanting to give you. You know, one of the things that he says that that is kind of from our belief system, it's from our scripture is that God wants to give you a hundred fold for everything you give out. He wants to give you a hundred, a thousand fold. He give you 10,000 fold if you're willing to receive it. And that's my perspective. Whatever your belief system is, the universe. I'm not attached to that. I am totally okay with you believing or not believing whatever you want to. And this principle of receiving. Is an eternal universal principle, so far as I can tell. So yeah, again, not sure I answered the question you asked, but that's where we went.

Daniel Aaron:
That's the perfect place to go. And I'll echo with a quick, quick story what you said about receiving. So I had an experience similar in a way years ago. I won't tell the story now, but where I sort of lost, at least from one perspective, everything overnight. And it was, you know, it was my my country of residence, all my stuff, my job, my business, my money, my reputation. Worst of all, I had a nine year old daughter at the time. Our dog we lost also. And coming out of that many, many, many gifts coming out of it. Not that I was able to recognize all of them immediately. One of the gifts that came out of it similarly was. Learning how to receive. And there's this crystal moment that changed things for me. This is going back not that long ago, maybe 4 or 5 years ago. I had some friends over for dinner, and I love having dinner parties and making all the food and serving people and and like you, I've been more comfortable in the giving role in the hosting role. And after after dinner, my friend Jules, she says, oh, let me, let me clean, you know, do some of those dishes. And I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, it's okay, I got it. And she's like, no, really. I'd like to do it. And like complete reflex unconscious in me. I'm like, no, no no no no. And then such a beautiful moment. She just. She looks around at the room. There were like two other people in the kitchen at the time, and she goes. This guy really has a problem with receiving, huh? And it was just like, and she wasn't condemning me or judging me in it. And so I was able to receive it, receive her comment. And and I got it. And I was like, wow, gosh, I wonder where else that's showing up in my life, right? It's not just somebody helping me with the dishes. So I made a rule for myself, like to unwind my own pattern, which was from that moment on, if somebody offers me something, you know, unless it's like a kick in the teeth, I don't.

Daniel Aaron:
I'll pass on that. But if somebody offers me something that I genuinely would want or would benefit from, I have to say yes. Right. That's just the fundamental rule. And it's still hard for me sometimes. Like, you know, just the other day I encountered it, somebody offered me something and I was just ready to, you know, I was like, I felt out of balance. I'm like, they're giving too much. And now I'm. Thank you. Yes. Thank you. I receive that and, you know, there's this. Great. And I'm with you. It is a law of the universe. And I haven't thought of this in years, actually. There's a beautiful body of therapeutic work called Family Constellations and really amazing stuff. Bert Hellinger, an Austrian therapist, magician guy, created this system, and when I discovered it, I was like, I was blown away by how powerful it was. And so I read he has this huge book called The Hidden Symmetry of Love. And I was like, all right, I'm in. And so I consumed the whole book. And one of the things he said early on in that, and I think this is going to resonate for you, Dave. Early on he said there is this automatic symmetry in the way it works. Law of the universe is if one person gives to the other from a place of love, it's different if they're giving because they're trying to get something. But if they give from a place of love, right, that will put the relationship out of balance. And so the other person will automatically give back out of love. However, if they don't do that, the relationship will be out of balance and it will feel asymmetrical. And this person will then find a way to pull this person down. Right? Which when I learned that I was like, huh, how does that work? And then I've seen it play out time and time again. Fascinating. So that it is a law of the universe, this giving and receiving. And it's not about any belief system or religion or anything. It's just like in the physical universe, gravity is a thing.

Daniel Aaron:
In the greater universe, this reciprocity is a thing. Yeah.

Dave Orton:
That's so.

Daniel Aaron:
All right, well, we are cooking along here and time is flying by. So let's go back to something else you said earlier, because I'm not sure that everybody is hip to this conversation yet, in a way. And that is we've spoken a bit about Steve Hardison and the ultimate coach and the book, and you mentioned the being movement and very nicely gave a sort of expanded understanding for people about what does it mean being right. And so this being movement and I don't know, what would you say in terms of what it is, how you relate to it, why it's important to you.

Dave Orton:
Yeah. Well, so the being movement came out of this book that that was. Researched by Alan Thompson and then written by Amy Hardison, Steve Hardison's wife, whose I love her works. I have a couple of her other books as well. Um, but she's this book has created a community around it, and part of the communities started off on Facebook, and Eric Lapham was the guy that started the Facebook page just as an act of service. And he's committed the rest of his life to forwarding the action of being and managing those groups at one point in, oh, goodness, around January, February of 2021, when it was a month or two after he started this group, he got put in Facebook jail and he had been putting out these things. Who are you being today? I'm being this and would respond and things like that. He got put in Facebook jail, which means he couldn't post anymore for a while, for a few days, like seven days. And like I got to help him out. So I jumped in and I, and I, I just had this, this, this nudge to. I'm like, I'm his lieutenant. I'm going to be the one who's helping him out. And when he heard that, he laughed like, didn't know he needed a lieutenant. And but I've been able to be of service there and I. Man discovered this deep love of of acknowledging the divine greatness in others. And and am. One of the one of the things that Steve has called me, one of the things that Anne-christine has called me and I've called on Chris Jane the same thing. It's a master of acknowledgment. And he is and I am. We are that, you know, and it doesn't take long to find a reason or to find the divine in others, the divine greatness that is worthy of acknowledgment. And, Daniel, I mean, you've got it. I got it coming out of your ears, you know, and and exactly. And I acknowledge you for having this art of vibrant living. Sure. Acknowledge you for the difference you make in the lives of others. I acknowledge you for doing the deep, hard, difficult things that have got you to where you are.

Dave Orton:
And I acknowledge you for your humanity, you know, for having grace for yourself and others. Because one of the artifacts of humanity is one of the facets of humanity, is we make mistakes, we screw up, I screw up, and I love me. I couldn't sleep last night and I turned on Gaia, and I love me, and and I, you know, you're on your show and and I love you. And, you know, I saw this thing. I'm like, is Daniel trying to to harvest my list of people. And I love you have that thought, you know, and and you're doing whatever you're doing and it's of service. And you know the little meaning making meaning making machine. Thank you, landmark, for that particular distinction that's going on in the background is always going on, and I can choose to believe it and pretend that those thoughts are real and condemn or say, you know, write people off. Or I can be curious and and discover it, discover what's actually going on there. And the the beauty of this way of being is that it's available and it's contagious. The being movement is a contagious place where instead of contagion being something that's bad or wrong. Oh, wait. Oh, gosh. You know. Beingness is a contagious state. Where if I elevate my beingness, if I choose to be a certain way and that informs my actions, that's the source of my actions. And I don't have to be perfect in a particular way. Perfect meaning I'm always doing exactly what I say I'm going to do or or live from my document, my constitution, that from which I am made up. If I don't perform it perfectly all the time, I still get to have grace for myself, and it still changes who I am and who I'm being and the impact that I am in the world. So beingness, this this being movement, this opportunity to choose who I be. Gives me conscious. Handles or controllers on my life. I'm being forgiving. If I am forgiving, forgiven, peaceful, free and connected and I show up in the world like that, it doesn't mean that I won't get ticked off when some driver pulls in front of me and slams on their brakes.

Dave Orton:
It may not even mean that I don't flip them off and say some choice words, but it also means that I forgive them rapidly and I send them blessings. And remember that this is a meditation and that I'm being challenged every once in a while by the universe or God to say, are you really committed to being who you say you are? And and. Yes. And I get to clean it up. And I forgive myself and love me. And I love the Divine Comedy and the and the humanity in others. And love me. So this yeah, this this being movement is very much in the realm of discovering this difficult to describe. In fact, if you describe it and kind of put a, put it in a box, it's a sign that you have missed the point. You know, it's it's almost defies description. This this state of and creation of being. Because if you describe it, it's almost like the Dao. You know, that which you can describe that, ain't it? So I'm not sure what you heard in that, but I'd love to hear your version of that.

Daniel Aaron:
Yeah. Thank you. Well it's beautiful. There is many gold nuggets in what you shared there. And one of the things that I take from that you use the word contagious. And I think of the term from physics which is entrainment. Right. And entrainment means that any, any two bodies thoughts, any two energetics that are in proximity and that can be physical or just thought proximity will align to the same vibration. And one of the coolest experiences I ever had with this was when this was I was living in Seattle. It had to be more than 20 years ago. Eckhart Tolle, right? Great spiritual teacher had just emerged on the street on the scene. The power of now had just come out. I had heard of him maybe a month before. I didn't really know much, but he was giving a talk downtown Seattle and I went all by myself. Big church, amazing church, like 500 people in there. And I'm sitting in the back. I don't know anybody. I'm looking around. And it was he hadn't started yet, and the whole place was like just, you know, everybody was chattering and this guy. And if you've never seen Eckhart Tolle, he's he's quite a interesting physical specimen. He's, he's kind of a very unassuming small guy, a little bit round shouldered. And he's got this kind of quirky face. And I'm because I'm alone and I'm not talking to anybody. And I can see everybody's chattering and hanging out and I'm way in the back. But I see him enter the stage from from stage left, and he walks across the stage and it's really simple stage. It was just a chair and a table and a microphone. And he walks across the stage, slowly sits down in the chair. And then he looks from one side of the audience to the other side at about one fifth that speed. And the whole place went from like, wow to like. Became still and and he said something in that talk. He said. If you don't understand English, you'll probably get even more out of this conversation. And I remember like, that's such a funny thing to say in so many ways.

Daniel Aaron:
But what I got was like, it's the energy of it more than the content or the words. And so a lot of what I think goes on is when, when, when you do the work to be able to love yourself, to forgive yourself. Right. And as a practice, it's, you know, maybe never done. We don't we don't know but that you stay committed to that then that's a there's a frequency to that. There's a vibration to that. And so whenever you're around somebody else you are they're you're aligning to that. You know, you're raising other people up. And that's that's really powerful and beautiful. I love the there's a quotation by Bhagwan Rajneesh years ago that said, the the purpose of all of our education is to learn to love more. Right? And like, whoa, that's different from my secondary school education. That's different from when I got in college. I like that, though, that that's really good. And and I wrote a book on spiritual leadership. And so as part of that, I tried to define what does that mean? My goodness. What does it mean? Spiritual leadership. What does spiritual even mean in the metrics I came up with for what does spiritual mean? One of them, one of the two key metrics is it's one's ability to love themselves, to be comfortable with themselves. And that's not necessarily an easy task, right? Because we've we've learned lots of ways of of judging or condemning ourselves and others. So to unwind that, to forgive, to love. It sounds simple and it even sounds small as I say it, at least compared to the immensity and the importance that it is so and so. I really commend you, not condemn commend you for making that a part of your practice, and also for the the humility and authenticity to say, yeah, and I screw it up. And, you know, sometimes I get pissed off on the road, but I come back, you know, as soon as I can, I come back and I come back to the truth of blessings and love.

Dave Orton:
Thank you. Thank you. You know, there's. I love what you said about Eckhart Tolley. I have a hard time listening to his stuff. I read his words and I'm utterly inspired. And when I listen to his. When I listen to him, it's hard for me to pay attention. Like his voice. Almost shuts off my ability to to hear or to listen. Right. And it's funny because Wayne Dyer is exactly the opposite. I don't I like reading. I've enjoyed reading one of Wayne Dyer's books, and I love listening to him like his, uh, secrets of the Power of Intention was my favorite. That's one of my favorite things to listen to. I've listened to it probably 15 times over my life, you know, and it's it's a hefty course, you know, but also so moving. Um, but this presence, you're talking about, the presence. You know, I am on my second time through a book called The Way of Mastery and and I'm. The nudge was to take others with me. So I made a little private group in Facebook that, you know, get together once a week with anybody that wants to show up. And we talk through what showing up with for us at whatever chapter we're on, whatever lesson we're on. And one of the things that it mentions in there is your presence. You know, at a certain level, when you connect to your divine greatness, when you connect to the, the, the Christ consciousness in you. You have presence. I have presence, you know, we walk into a room and people will feel that. And it's not it's not because we're so great, but it is because that we are connected to and love ourselves and therefore them as well. And that self with a capital S universal self. You know that when you were talking about earlier, you mentioned it in passing. Love that. Um, and I wanted to point out one other book that has made an enormous difference for me in this realm of self-love. And it's called the The Gentle Art of Blessing by Pierre Pradel. And I have given that book away to so many people, and I love it for myself. And it's simply this. It's a very simple practice of discovering this skill of desiring from the bottom of your soul, good things for other people, health, wealth, well, being a great sex life, you know, fantastic relationships with all their family, including the ones that have cut them off from any sort of communication, forgiveness for that which is has happened in life. And that has been a real powerful key for me. The other book that has been just fantastic for me in this realm is called Loyalty to Your Soul, and it's by the goodness the people over at the the University of Santa Monica, the doctors, the doctors Hollnich.

Daniel Aaron:
The doctor's clinic. Yes.

Dave Orton:
And oh my goodness. Just the way that they take you through this. These principles and distinctions of self forgiveness and self love. I am forever indebted to them for the work that they have done in that arena. And I've listened to that book. I like to listen to books and read them, but if I can do both, that's fantastic. But that one I've listened to probably 20 times. Wow. And to have the experience of being the presence of the divine. Or being one with the presence of the divine, you know. I. I spoke in church a few months ago and I went out there and and I just. I don't know if Eckhart totally did this or not. When he looked. Across the crowd. Have this idea that what he was saying is, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. I have this opportunity to speak in church, you know, about 300 people and and usually. And I'm very comfortable speaking in church. I love to talk in church. You know, I get to talk about spirit and the difference that makes in our life and the difference that being connected with, you know, Christ makes in our lives. And this time I didn't prepare anything. And that's very not my past experience. But I went up and I sat on the stand and I went through the entire congregation. And I love you, I love you, I love you. There are a few people I had to do a little bit of forgiveness cycle so that I could then love them because, you know, familiarity can breed contempt in the, in, in, in some cases, you know, and I did that and I stood up and I spoke. And I don't remember what I said. Daniel. But from a certain perspective, it wasn't me speaking. It was that that presence, that lovingness, that was speaking. And I got to experience that as being the one through whom that was spoken. What a miracle. What a miracle.

Daniel Aaron:
That's beautiful. Thank you.

Dave Orton:
What are you hearing in that? And where else would you like to take this conversation?

Daniel Aaron:
Well, unfortunately, we are up against the clock, so. And you made a great segway for us a moment. I love what you said. And I could reflect back and respond to a lot of that is beautiful. And I think it's a great place for us to leave it, which is, you know, in some way it's loving and allowing for spirit to flow through. And that's beautiful and beautiful that you had that experience and created that experience for 300 different people. And you mentioned earlier about The Way of Mastery, which is a book I love also, and that you have a group that you're working with people on that. So that brought the question for me, for members of our audience who are interested in learning more about you, connecting with you, working with you, what's the best way for them to be in touch with you?

Dave Orton:
Right. Well, if you'd like to join those, the Facebook group, I've got one for the Way of Mastery and one for A Course in Miracles. Just, you know, send me a message in Facebook if you'd like to. And if you'd like to have a conversation, you can visit my website and set up a time with me and we'll just have a connection call. And that that website is Yeah Dave Orton coaching.com and Dave Orton.

Daniel Aaron:
The v o r t o.

Dave Orton:
N.

Daniel Aaron:
T o n.com right.

Dave Orton:
Dave Orton coaching.com. Yeah.

Daniel Aaron:
Dave Orton coaching Dave Orton coaching.com. Yes we got it. Perfect. Well Dave goodness gracious it would. You know we could talk for another two hours. And it would be fun and valuable. And I'm so grateful for this time that we have had. I'm so grateful for the work that you've done to evolve in your life and to face yourself and learn to love yourself and the work you're doing that's benefiting so many other people, you know, in the being movement through the way of mastery, through your coaching work, through just who you are. It's super inspiring and beautiful. So thank you so much for being with us today.

Dave Orton:
Thank you so much, Daniel. Thank you for the difference you make in the world. I see that I see you. I appreciate it, very kind.

Daniel Aaron:
Thank you. All right. And for y'all, our audience, our listeners, thank you for tuning in. And not only for tuning in and spending this time with us, which is a gift for us. Thank you for being not just interested in, but actually so motivated to create your life into a masterpiece that you're investing the most precious thing ever, which is your time, right? And your energy, your attention. And please, please, please take something at least one thing that you've learned from Dave in this show and apply it in your life. Put it into action so that you can even more make your life a masterpiece. Thanks so much y'all! See you for an amazing show coming up very soon next week, in fact, with Amy Hardison, who was mentioned earlier in the show. See you all soon. Aloha. Mahalo for tuning in to the Art of Vibrant Living show, y'all, I'm Daniel Aaron and may you live with great vibrancy.

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